Movie reviews: A Perfect Ending, I Can't Think Straight, Kiss Me

A Perfect Ending
2012
F/f-/ May-Dec/ Interracial

Rebecca has a very unusual secret, one that not even her best friends know about. The last person on earth she expects to reveal it to is a high priced escort named Paris. What starts as a comedy of errors ends up a uniquely erotic journey. Rebecca's unconventional efforts to find herself are raw, evocative, and often times humorous, but always very real, very human. Sometimes a perfect ending is not what you expect it to be. 

- Written by Soul Kiss Films

You know how you read a book or watch a movie and the story stays with you for days and days and you realize it affected you on a really deep level, this is what A Perfect Ending was for me. It’s gorgeous story both on a human level and on an aesthetic level in how it’s expressed.

There are a crap ton of reviews for this movie, so what I’m going to say about it is how and why it affected me so deeply. The main thing about this movie for me was how beautifully and lovingly it shows human vulnerability and the growth that can happen from a relationship, even a relationship with a complete stranger, and also almost strictly a sexual relationship, in which two people feel totally safe to let themselves open up and heal from personal wounds. It’s also about how we come to terms with what’s important when faced with mortality.

On more practical levels, I love that it featured a middle aged women and a sex worker who is empowered by her choice to be a call girl.

Just for edification, this is not a romance. Nor is it really a lesbian story. Neither of the main characters are lesbians. It’s not about sexual passion either. I do feel this is a love story though and definitely it’s a story about connecting deeply on a human level. But also a warning, ending might disappoint. For me it was more about the ride, the here and now vs forever in what I felt this story was meant to portray.

Rebecca is wealthy middle aged woman who on the surface seems to have it all. And she does-- on the surface. She’s not that unhappy or miserable in general, she just seems to accept the status quo and doesn’t think about her needs or wants too much. There is though, a family secret that has caused her a lot of pain and she cannot get passed it at times.

While out with her best friends, a lesbian couple, she confesses that she’s never felt passion. Nor has she never had an orgasm. This of course shocks her friends who cannot believe it. She further confesses that her marriage is not that great and she rarely has sex. Her friends suggest that maybe she needs a woman to show her what she and her body can feel. They know a madam who runs an agency for call girls and think maybe it would be easier for her if she hired one of those girls to help her with that. She decides to go for it but under the condition that the woman be her own age.

Paris is a young woman who is grieving the loss of her fiancé. She is a call girl by night but an artist by day and she’s definitely not in it for the money only, she’s working out her grief by being a call girl. Maybe it’s her way feel some control about her life during this process. When her older colleague, the one who was supposed to go to Rebecca, asks her to meet Rebecca because she has an emergency, she agrees. When she gets there though, Rebecca is shocked that she ended up with a younger woman, freaks out, and decides not to go through with it. But Paris is very intense and open and accepting and seems to know exactly what Rebecca is about. And Rebecca picks that up. 

Rebecca tries a few more times- getting the older woman second time, whom she decides is so not for her, then asks for Paris again. In 3rd meeting, Paris again tries to seduce her but puts no pressure on Rebecca. Finally, Rebecca decides to go for it and it’s amazing for her.

Here I want to interject that actress Barbara Niven did an amazing job of expressing all those fears of not being appealing or desirable being an older woman with older women body flaws. And kudos to her as an actress, who is a very nice looking woman and has an image to maintain, that she showed her actual physical flaws in this movie. I think that took a lot of courage and added to her actual vulnerability as a character.

The first sex scene is really about Rebecca letting go and trusting. Paris being a much younger, very gorgeous woman has the power in this, but she’s portrayed as sort of an experienced, wise, old soul who really is accepting and understanding. She does feel a connection with Rebecca that is beyond their “business” arrangement, so it’s more for her as well. This connection she feels, maybe because Rebecca is also in a very vulnerable space, helps Paris also let go of her grief in a very intimate way.

In case anyone is wondering—although you can see most of the sex scenes are on youtube—the sex between the women is very loving, soft and even though both are naked- it’s not salacious in any way. In fact, there were moments I felt I didn’t want to watch because it felt like I was intruding on some deeply intimate moments. Not the intimacy of sex alone, but the intimacy of being emotionally raw and open during sex. So if you’d watch for some hot girl on girl sex, this is not the movie.

Other than this, I love how this film was filmed. It has almost a Zen-like feel to it. There are lots of fade in and out scenes with action but no words. Since the two women only meet in the hotel room and don’t talk about their lives with each other, the back story of both women, where they are coming from, is told through most of those silent or brief snippets in between them meeting.

The other characters also added a lot to this film. It’s much more than two women connecting, it’s also about life and love and family from and what that all means for a woman.

All in all this movie grabbed me and I’d definitely recommend it, especially if you’re about two people connecting beyond a sexual orientation or if you’re an older woman who would love a story about having courage to experience new things.

Bonus for this movie is that the actress who played Paris is an out lesbian. Something you don’t see hardly ever in lesbian movies. Mostly it’s straight women playing lesbians. So kudos for getting an actual GLBT person to play that role.

Heat level: 3-4- full nudity and sex scenes, very beautifully and aesthetically filmed. Not salacious in any way.

Grade: 5 Stars

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I Can’t Think Straight (British)
2008
Lesbian/ Multicultural

Adaptation of book by Shamim Sarif
A 2008 romance film adapted from a same name novel about a London-based Jordanian of Palestinian descent, Tala, who is preparing for an elaborate wedding. A turn of events causes her to have an affair and subsequently fall in love with another woman, Leyla, a British Indian. 

- Written by Shamim Sarif

I have another book written by this author of the book this story is based off of that I’ve yet to read, so I decided to watch this film instead of that one.

What I loved about this film is that this is a love story that happens between two people from very different backgrounds that happens despite familial, cultural, political and generational conflicts.

Both Tala and Leyla are young women caught between two worlds. They are both living in England, although Tala goes back and forth between Jordan and England. They’ve been brought up exposed to western culture, but both have homes and parents that try to keep their own traditional homeland culture alive. This is one of the main conflicts for both of them and also maybe what helps them understand each other even though of different cultural backgrounds.

They meet just by chance as Leyla’s boyfriend is a friend of Tala. Tala is on her 4th wedding planning, having walked out on the first 3 fiancés just before the wedding. Tala is rather rebellious and being from a wealthy family, her whims and flightiness are somewhat tolerated.

Leyla is a lot more deep and serious about life. She’s a Muslim in her heart, mind and belief, but she doesn’t always go to prayer with her family. She’s also struggling with the contradictions of being a woman growing up in a western culture while dealing with her mother who is very strong in trying to keep their Indian culture alive. This especially becomes an issue when she comes out to her family.

Both women clash at first as Tala, who grew up as a Palestinian Christian Arab, argues that religion and belief are bogus, which kind of pisses Leyla off. But slowly they come together and become good friends and find themselves attracted to each other both romantically and sexually.

Of course, as with many romances between women when one is currently with a man, the main problem between them becomes that Tala is getting married. In this case, I was rather surprised that Tala, who seems to be the more open as one who bucks the system in many ways, feels very strongly about not coming out and won’t defy her family’s culture. She argues with Leyla that Leyla doesn’t get how hard it would be to do that with her family and in Jordan, where the man she’s to marry is from.

On the other hand, this affair pushes Leyla internally to decide that she can’t or won’t hide who she is to her family and friends anymore. So until Tala is willing to accept who she is, Leyla will not see her.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t feeling the romance so much between these two women even though it’s shown they have had attractions to women in the past. Somehow it felt a bit too insta-love for me, which is maybe why this film didn’t affect me other than I love stories that include characters of other cultures and in which those cultures are part of the story. I think maybe it’s also because I wasn’t feeling Tala as a character. She was a little too superficial and a bit cocky for me for most of the film and I felt her not really that serious about Leyla.

But I did feel that Leyla is really in love with Tala and she, as a character, made the film for me.

Other than that, I felt the film didn’t shy away from the truths or realities of cultural and political clashes. I feel some people might be offended by some of what is expressed, however, I took all at face value and as a true portrayal of what is real for people of those cultures.

I’d definitely recommend this if you’re looking for something a bit different culturally. But as a romance goes, it was just OK.

Heat level: 2 – some sex, no nudity

Grade: 3 ½ Stars

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Kyss Mig -Kiss Me (Swedish)
2011
Lesbian/ bi?

Young woman engaged to be married finds herself in an affair with her stepmother's lesbian daughter.

This was one of the better lesbian movies I saw during my marathon. And I guess from others in the lesbian community they think it’s one of the better ones as well.

Elizabeth and Lassa are an older couple who are about to be married. Both have older, independent children. Lasse had a contentious divorce and his daughter Mia still feels angry with him about what happened. Consequently, she hasn’t visited often. Elizabeth has a grown daughter who is an out lesbian and in a relationship and lives nearby.

At the pre-wedding party, all of them meet for the first time and family drama ensues.

Mia (played by Ruth Vega Fernandez) is sulky and cranky because her father isn’t spending the time with her that she wants. He’s always busy with some job thing. She also shows a pissed/sad face whenever she sees Frida, Elizabeth’s daughter. Frida is light and fun and both Mia’s brother and fiancé are enjoying with Frida. I will say that actress Ruth Vega Fernandez has the perfect sad/pissed off look that worked here.

Anyway, as the days go on, Mia, who is an architect with her fiancé, is to design and extension on a lake house that Lasse and Elizabeth have bought. Lasse was supposed to meet them, but leaves Mia alone with both Elizabeth and Frida, which pisses her off and freaks her out. All of her interactions with Frida show she’s not too happy with this.

However, one night at the cabin, she follows Frida who is out walking in the woods. They barely talk, but then she suddenly kisses Frida. She acts freaked that she did that, but at the same time both women get sexual fairly quickly after that. Of course, as the days go on and they start really falling in love, Frida basically states she will not be a fling for Mia and cuts it off. This forces Mia to confront what she really feels and how far she’s willing to go to be with Frida.

Of course, this new development messes with Mia’s plans for marriage and a lot of pain for all characters in this story happens due to this new love between these women. I felt it was dealt with in a realistic way. I guess there is no easy way to follow your heart when it’s going against everyone you love and the convenience of life at times. But this was one of the better parts of the film.

The only negative thing I will say is that like so many of the lesbian movies I watched these last few weeks, insta-love seemed to be a thing here. I wish there was more of a build-up to why Mia would be attracted to Frida and why Frida would fall so madly in love with Mia that she leaves her long-time girlfriend. There really wasn’t much between them that did show that.

However, what saves this movie is that in the end, I really believed these women want each other badly. Enough that both risk so much to go for it.

For those wondering, this is not really a straight girl falls for a girl and discovers she’s a lesbian. Mia did have a love affair with a woman in the past but felt it freaked her out. So it’s more like lesbian in the closet finally having the guts to be true to herself.

Anyway… this is a definite recommend to watch. I can’t really believe this is the first Swedish lesbian film. Seems like the stereotype that Europeans are more open about stuff like this is not always true.

Heat level: 3-4 Nude sex scene, done showing lots of passion.

Grade: 4 ½ Stars

Review- Backwards to Oregon by Jae

Backwards to Oregon
By Jae
April 6, 2013
Era Historical 1850’s/ Lesbian /Bisexual
542 pgs
Publisher: Ylva Verlag; 2 edition

"Luke" Hamilton has always been sure that she'd never marry. She accepted that she would spend her life alone when she chose to live her life disguised as a man.

After working in a brothel for three years, Nora Macauley has lost all illusions about love. She no longer hopes for a man who will sweep her off her feet and take her away to begin a new, respectable life.

But now they find themselves married and on the way to Oregon in a covered wagon, with two thousand miles ahead of them.

Backwards to Oregon is one of those stories that shined in both the detail of the time period it’s set in and the slow burn of a romance build up. Clearly it’s a long book, but author Jae managed to write about every day minutia and issues the characters dealt with as they made their way from Missouri to Oregon in the mid 1800’s in a way that kept my interest. I actually read this book fairly quickly due to it.

Backwards to Oregon also featured two tropes that are a favorite of mine: a female passing as a male, and marriage of convenience.

So let’s talk about Luke. Since the author uses the pronoun she when talking about Luke, I will stick with that as well. Luke is, to everyone she has contact with, a stand up, conscientious, and courageous man. She been in the army and fought bravely as a leader in the Mexican-American War and has returned to Missouri to head west to start a farm raising horses in Oregon. She’s worked hard to keep her identity as a woman a secret all this time and for the most part manages it.

Really, there is nary a hint of anyone questioning her gender throughout the whole book, which did make me wonder. But I’ve known and read about women passing as men and living as men during and long after a war, so suspension of disbelief was possible here.

Luke decides that to keep her identity and keep people from wondering about her while on her way to Oregon that she should find a wife. She chooses Nora, a prostitute in the local brothel. Nora, already having a child and no prospects other than being a prostitute, readily agrees, hoping to start a new life.

As they move their way across the land, Nora questions why Luke doesn’t want her sexually as this is what she expects he’d want as part of the arrangement. She thinks it’s really weird that he keeps his distance and often feels he doesn’t like her. For at least ¾ of the book Nora goes in and out of respecting how Luke is taking care of her and her daughter and how honorable he is, and wondering what’s wrong with him or her that he doesn’t desire her sexually. It does cause a lot of tension at times, both for her and Luke.

Throughout most of the trip, Luke feels inwardly, and even expresses outwardly, that Nora should find another husband when they get to Oregon. She knows that if Nora finds out she’s a woman, she will want to leave. This perplexes and freaks Nora out. Nora inwardly worries that Luke, not wanting her, will dump her as soon as they get there and then she might get stuck with a man like one on the trail who beats his wife constantly. Or even worse, that she will find no one and not be able to take care of herself and daughter.

What’s kind of interesting about this relationship is that due to the fact that Luke is hiding her identity, it really is a marriage of convenience. Luke steps up and takes full care of Nora and Nora learns to be a good wife, working hard to play her part and help Luke. This is where having to work together as a team to get to Oregon works in their favor. They both have to ignore their personal fears about their possible future without each other and in doing so learn to appreciate and respect, and…slowly come to love each other.

While neither Nora nor Luke talk about each other’s past, I liked that the author did eventually give some insight into how each character ended up where they were. They both come from vastly different worlds.

Outside of that slow dance that they do, the author went into incredible detail of life on the trail. I kind of actually felt like I was on that journey, with clear and intricate descriptions of the landscape, clothing, accoutrements used, and issues faced by pioneers sucking me in. It did feel like the author did extensive research. And since the book is long, the long journey between Missouri and Oregon, the ups and downs made me feel by the end that I was as tired as the characters were and couldn’t wait for them to get there. The main reason that I kept reading though was to find out what would happen once Nora would find out that Luke was a woman.

Spoiler***************************************************************

For me, to some degree, the story became a bit more interesting once she did find out. This is because until that point, Luke is like this perfect, can do no wrong, highly respected person in EVERYONE’S eyes. Once Nora and one other finds out, suddenly Luke doesn’t seem so honorable and her imperfections start coming through. I felt she became a more vulnerable and human person at that point. She also has to confront the “female” part of her that she’s denied due to acting and living like a man.

Nora is confronted by mixed feelings as well. One is that she’s lived an immoral life in the eyes of society and yet she has her own moral judgments about Luke and that Luke is living a sin by going against nature. This made her character a bit more interesting as well because she’s also fallen in love with Luke and tries to come to terms with those conflicting feelings. 

End spoiler**************************************************************

There are a bunch of other clearly defined characters involved as well that also add a lot of drama.  Bernice, a “respectable” woman, befriends Nora and helps her out, teaching her what is expected of her as a good wife and woman in society. I liked that she didn’t judge Nora when she finds out about her past, but she’s also a mixed bag of morality, having her own lines because she finds out about Luke. And then there were a few bad guys who added some tension to what was mainly a drama free drama.

As an historical set in the west, Backwards to Oregon is an excellent read. While not a gripping story as in full of tension, I still recommend as an entertaining one. Also, there is an extension to the story after the end, which I felt added a lot as well; an extension on their life after settling in Oregon.

Heat level: 1-2- some sex, but nothing graphically written or extensive.

Grade: 4 ½ Stars

Review- Cream by Christiana Harrell

Cream
By Christiana Harrell
Aug 31, 2013
Contemporary/Lesbian/Stud/Romance/Erotica/African American
230 Pgs
Pub-Self
Kindle Edition

Cream, an androgynous beauty, knows what it’s like to be abandoned, broke, and used. Left to the state by her parents and taken under the wing of her selfish foster mother, Cream sets her focus on one thing: money. She dives head first into the exotic lifestyle of stripping. Starting out in gentlemen clubs, drama seems to follow her wherever she goes. Instead of facing the turmoil, she moves on to the next city, causing more chaos than what she left behind.

She thinks she has life all figured out until she crosses paths with Payton, a daddy’s girl with lots of cash and a lust for women. Payton makes her learn things about herself that she never saw possible and with her new discovery comes a big change in her look and personality.

Cream is at the top of her game, surrounded by money and beautiful women. Then, one wild night forces her to discover yet another truth about herself and face the reality of her lifestyle. Will she continue to dwell in her unstable comfort zone? Or, will she finally open her eyes?

If I could ever call a book a reader whisperer, this would be it for me. Cream spoke to me in so many awesome and amazing ways. It’s such a raw and powerfully positive story of growth and acceptance. Cream as a character is also one of the most intense, real and dynamic female leads I’ve read in a long time.

What I loved so much about Cream is that she’s written as someone having a nice combination of savvy, rough street smarts and innocence. It’s that underlying innocent part of her, the part she’s managed to keep even with all the negative obstacles she’s had to deal with that helps her change and grow once she allows that part of her to emerge. That’s not to say she doesn’t have a lot of flaws and isn’t a nasty shit at times. But this is what makes her an interesting, complex character.

I also got off on how the author wrote this book. The way this story is written: language (colloquial), pacing, character development, were all spot on for me. The growth of Cream is slowly done and we get to see her change as she learns from her relationships and experiences. It’s a natural progression and I liked that it wasn’t rushed or that she suddenly had an epiphany that wasn’t natural to her character.

That the author wrote a character who works in the sex industry but isn’t being controlled, or doing it for “good” reasons, was a huge plus for me. Cream chooses it after that first night. She did have a crappy childhood. And she ends up stripping because she was pimped out by someone who should have protected her. But she embraces it, becomes the best stripper, and uses it to her advantage. She also enjoys it and makes no excuses, nor does she blame the world for it. And shockingly, she stays unaffected by the sexual nature of it, never having any attractions or sexual encounters.

One of Cream’s worst characteristics is being unable to get close to people and running all the time. She seemed to be missing the empathy chip for a good part of this book and I wondered if she’s actually just out of touch with her feelings, or if she really feels as emotionally cold towards others as she acts. But it’s clear after a while it’s a survival technique. It’s also what throws her into meeting new people and having experiences that push her out of that. 

Of course, both good and unsavory characters enter her life. And I will say that what was appealing to me was that there were no stereotypical characters. People who you’d think would try and take advantage of Cream don’t and those who you’d think would normally be nice, aren’t. I loved that.

This story is about Cream, but several other characters are very compelling as well. Payton is an interesting character in that she starts Cream on the road to growth, albeit, unknowingly. She’s the impetus for Cream to see that she has a lot of talent and helps her career flourish.  She’s also the one who turns Cream on to women, suggesting she’s not just a lesbian, but a stud. At first it felt like Payton would be a very positive influence on Cream in all aspects, not just her career, but things didn’t go as I thought.

Then there is Tasia. Tasia is the antithesis of pretty much everyone Cream has met. Tasia, like Cream, has been abused on several levels, but has kept her heart, hope and humanity. Even when she’s so clearly treated like shit from her fiancé and by her best friend, she still manages to keep hope that one day she will find love. This is not to say she’s a doormat. Like Cream though, she’s managed to keep some innocence locked away but it’s more on the surface for her.

Tasia and Cream meet mainly due to a betrayal, but more so because Tasia looks very much like the only “friend” Cream had ever had and probably the only person she had any feelings of love towards. Although Cream tries her usual shtick with Tasia, keeping things at a distance, something about Tasia’s vulnerability and positivity worms its way into Cream’s psyche and slowly breaks down her hard core emotional wall. Tasia also has an easy going, loving, but non-threatening or needy way about her that sparks something in Cream wherein for the first time in her life she finds herself opening up to another person and caring about their well-being.

I know there are some negative aspects to this book. There were some editing issues and well, I know intellectually it’s not subject matter for everyone; it represents a fairly specific world. Also, some (lesbians) might not like that Tasia’s sexual orientation is not really clear and it’s written more as she loves Cream vs being attracted to women. And also for my taste, even Cream, while clearly into women and not ever having an attraction to men, won’t commit to stating she’s a lesbian. However, I got so sucked into the story and the characters, I didn’t notice those things or they didn’t bother me. 

I would love to read another book by this author.

Heat level: 4-5- some graphic sexual situations, but more tell than show. But graphic language used.

Grade: 5 Stars

Review- The View from 16 Podwale Street by Paul Alan Fahey

The View from 16 Podwale Street
By Paul Alan Fahey
July 8th 2012
Era Historical 1930’s/ Lesbian
48 pages
Publisher: JMS Books LLC
Kindle Edition

April 1939. Warsaw, Poland. To the casual observer, the houses on Podwale Street look very much alike. Yet at 16 Podwale, nothing is as it seems. Within, the walls hold many secrets that could destroy the lives of its inhabitants as they witness the city’s ever-mounting tide of Nazism.

Wealthy recluse Elwira Malinowska is more an observer than participant in life. In her seclusion at 16 Podwale, she watches the world pass her by. Then Raz Zielinsky comes to work as a housemaid for her father, and Elwira’s life is suddenly divisible by two -- the time before Raz and the time after.

Years pass, and the women become lovers. They depend on each other. Elwira is Raz’s protector, and Raz is Elwira’s conduit to the outside world, where people speak of nothing but the continual threat of war with Germany.

Elwira, a steadfast Catholic, believes Pope Pius XII will intervene to save Poland from the rumblings of a maniac and an imminent invasion. But when the Pope fails to mediate peace and the political situation worsens, Elwira and Raz plan their escape to freedom.

Will their plan succeed? Or is it already too late?

This was a very unique and different story for me. I loved the writing, the flow of it, the descriptions of WWII Poland---pre-German invasion, and the characters. It’s not the usual fare. And although not overtly expressed, I enjoyed the subtle way both characters were shown to have a lesbian relationship. It actually fit the characters, who they are, and the time period.

The blurb pretty much expresses what the story is about so I’ll go from there. I thought Elwira and Raz have an interesting relationship. On the surface, and to some degree in their day to day life, they don’t have equal standing in the relationship. Raz often reminds Elwira that her status is that of house servant even though in private they are lovers. Although Elwira disputes it all the time, she’s still a very proper woman of her station and still treats Raz as a servant, at least on the surface. Part of it is appearances for when she has callers, but mainly it’s because she’s totally dependent on Raz for various reasons, including having a disability that keeps her from going outside during the day.

This is an interesting dynamic to me because emotionally, physically, and probably even financially, Raz could survive without being dependent on Elwira for a roof over her head and a job. However, she feels loyalty towards her and will not leave even though Elwira’s not wanting to face reality might ultimately cause her great harm. They’ve just established a working relationship in which they have a loving, supportive relationship but within those parameters.

While I felt the relationship was a good part of the story, much of it is also about the time period and how Elwira and Raz try to keep functioning in a politically turbulent and quite dangerous time. One of the strong themes is Elwira’s total belief in the Pope and that he will save Poland from an invasion by Hitler and the Germans. She’s very innocent and somewhat naïve as she disputes warnings from outside callers and Raz that the Pope really has no ability to affect the political scene. Her Catholic faith is strong and very important to her and she feels her belief will save them.

Raz is not as believing as she goes out daily for shopping and other errands and hears the constant gossip and chatter of impending war. She’s also well aware that she and Elwira, but particularly Elwira due to her “disability,” will be subject to a particularly bad fate if Poland falls to the Germans and Hitler. People like them, who love the way they do will not be spared. Much of the story is Raz trying to convince Elwira that maybe they should think about leaving before any invasion, while Elwira stalls, holding on to her tradition, family home, and religious belief. It did create a great tension and impetus to keep reading to see the outcome.

Then there are the two regular gentleman callers who don’t exactly try to woo Elwira, but visit with her and talk in a “gentile” way about the current events. One of them has told Elwira that he is very concerned and has a contact who he can pay to get him and his pregnant wife out. They gain her confidence and she starts believing in their concerns for her welfare. What happens ultimately is not what one would expect.

The only thing about this story that I felt was not explained was how the two gentlemen even knew Elwira and why she would allow them to visit when she clearly was in love with Raz and felt she could not live a normal life. Other than that…

This is well worth the read. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for an ambient period historical from an interesting time and place.

Heat level: 0

Grade: 4 ½ Stars

Review- Love and Devotion by Jove Belle

Love and Devotion
By Jove Belle
Dec 17, 2013
Lesbian/Contemporary/Romance/Friends to lovers/Small town
240 pgs
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Kindle Edition

KC Hall loves her family, her small East Texas town, and her best friend, Emma Reynolds. All of that takes a backseat when her lover beckons. Lonnie is blond, beautiful, and willing. She’s also married and a lifelong friend of KC’s mama.

KC knows the affair is a bad idea, but she just can’t help herself. When presented with the lush landscape of Lonnie’s body, KC subscribes to the philosophy of “orgasm first, think later.” Unfortunately, a secret that big is impossible to keep in a close-knit community where everybody knows everybody else’s business. The scandal would hurt her entire family.

Emma is KC’s exception, the one woman she loves enough to not have sex with. When Emma confesses that she’s loved KC since high school, KC is terrified. One wrong move and she could lose Emma completely.

Is she willing to let her family pay the price for her good time? Or will she turn to Emma to discover the true meaning of love and devotion?

I have read several of Jove Belle’s books and I’ve enjoyed them. This one looked appealing to me so I went for it. It’s a good story. Definitely a good friends to lovers story. However, even though I enjoyed it for the most part, it seemed to drag and felt like it went on and on forever. I feel that it was mostly due to how drawn out this story was from the time Emma lets it be known she has more than “just friends” feelings for KC and KC realizing that she’s always loved Emma.

For some, how this book starts out might be off-putting. KC is having an affair with her mother’s married best friend Lonnie. That’s a no-no for several obvious reasons. But the way it’s written, I was intrigued and not really bothered because as the story progresses there is character growth and understanding of the negative consequences to everyone involved. And also, this is a more complex story involving several characters; it’s not just about those two and the sneaking around.

I’ll start with KC. In her career life she’s totally together and on top of things. She got her master’s degree and has a great job that offers her a good living with a flexible schedule. She lives with Emma, her best friend from high school, and as far as their relationship goes, they are very close friends only. From KC’s side, Emma is the one person who grounds her and she feels comfort with when they are together. They actually sleep in the same bed together and cuddle, which I thought kind of weird if they are trying to keep things platonic, but manage to keep things from going further.

KC is also very close to her family and takes care when issues happen with her younger sister. She’s community oriented in that she goes to church with her family every Sunday and follows all the rules and expectations of being in a small community where everyone knows each other…on the surface.  Her main flaw though, and it’s one that is cause for a lot of grief between her, Emma, her sisters, and Lonnie, is that she’s flighty and irresponsible when it comes to her love life and sexual desires. This is where she has no scruples, nor any common sense. And the fact that she’s having an affair with her mother’s friend and a married woman is not sitting well with anyone. However, Lonnie has her hooked and KC finds it hard to break away from her even though she knows it’s wrong.

As this story is mostly about KC, meaning she’s the center of it, Emma is not really as developed or shown to the reader. All we get to know about Emma is that she’s always loved KC as more than just a friend and that she is will not agree to be with KC until KC gets really clear she wants to be with Emma. This, even though she wants KC more than anything. I have to respect her on that. She knows what’s been going on between KC and Lonnie and she knows that even though KC is professing her love and desire to be with her, KC will still not commit totally.

And this is the crux of why this story dragged. KC admits to herself that she wants Emma and she gets possessive and jealous when Emma meets up with a former lover, but she’s unwilling to completely break it with Lonnie even though she knows for Lonnie she is only desired for booty call. Even at that, it’s never a sharing or exchange of giving. Lonnie never satisfies KC, it’s only about her, which kind of pisses KC off. She’s also not clear that she can commit given her history. What I felt could have been cleared up fairly quickly got drawn out due to KC’s being wishy-washy.

On the plus side of that, it’s good to show the natural progression of character growth and love in a relationship, which the author did superbly here. We get to see KC’s process and how she goes from existing for lust to discovering that love is more worthy of her energy.

Other than that, there are a lot of interesting characters and I did enjoy the small town feel even if I don’t believe a small Texas town or church in a small town would be so accepting of the gay population like they are in the one portrayed here. But I did like that KC’s and Emma’s families accepted them as lesbians and as a couple.

I definitely recommend Love and Devotion if you’re really into the small town, church going, family oriented type of story in which everyone has a happy ending. And also if you like the friends to lovers story. It excelled on that point.

Heat level: 3 – some graphic sex, but scattered throughout the story.

Grade: 3 ½ Stars

Review- Safe Passage by Kate Owen

Safe Passage
By Kate Owen
Feb 5, 2014
Contemporary/Lesbian/Romance/Mystery
116 pages
Pub: Less Than Three Press
Kindle Edition

While doing renovation on the old New Orleans home inherited from her great aunt, Jules discovers an old safe filled with letters written in French—and code. Enlisting the aid of a local French teacher, the beautiful Gen, Jules slowly begins to learn the truth of her great grandfather's death …

Safe Passage is a cute, fun story with very likable characters who gel nicely. It’s also a mystery of sorts.

Both Jules and Gen are instructors at a school for girls. Both have been eying each other but have kept quiet about it. Jules is an out lesbian at the school, but Gen is more mysterious and doesn’t give away that she’s into women.

They both come together when Jules needs Gen to translate some old documents she’s found that are written in French. Of course, it comes out fairly quickly that Gen is into women and they get together without too much ado.

Both characters are fun and interesting. The author infused a lot of humor and light banter between them, adding to my enjoyment of the book.

To be honest, it’s an easy going love story with no real drama, which is kind of refreshing. I wouldn’t want to read books like this all the time because a little tension and drama is good. However, it’s a welcome change once in a while to have two people click and go for it without constant issues coming in that drag a story just to create faux obstacles for the couple to face and get over. 

As far as the mystery part goes, I think I was expecting a bit more on it. It’s really not that developed and the reveal wasn’t a big wow. What was more important I guess is that the women have something to work on together or have an excuse to interact with an outside objective so they can get to know each other.

But I did like that part of the mystery involved her aunt who was an interesting character, and also, that she was involved in a mix race love story, something scandalous for her time.

What I ultimately felt about this story was that it could be the precursor to these two characters being in a detective series. They work well together, they are great at digging up clues and have good chemistry.

Bottom line, Safe Passage is the perfect, light feel good book to read between two weightier and more serious books.

Heat level: 2- some sex, nothing too graphically written

Grade: 4 stars for emotional, entertainment value
            3 ½ Stars for lack of development in either romance or mystery

Review- Love Relived by Monique Thomas

Love Relived
By Monique Thomas
Feb 4, 2013
Contemporary/Lesbian/Romance/AA
198 pgs
Kindle version

Photographer Mahogany Williams has beauty, brains and success in San Francisco. California. Knowing the right people had launched her career into the limelight and she was enjoying the benefits of it all. When her Nana beomes confined to a wheel chair, Mahogany goes back home (New York) to care for her . While doing so she also tries to undo the pain that caused her to leave so many years ago. Cheryl James is a quiet sensible and known to be "too serious" woman. She enjoys her job working as a head educator at the famed Museum of Natural history. It is the theme of history, however that caused old feelings to resurface when she finds out that Mahogany is coming back into town. Will she be able to handle it after the bitter way things were left between them? Can forgiveness be enough? Can love be revisited?

I wanted to love this book. I had a good feeling going in to it that I would love it. I like the idea that two people who’ve shared a lot between them, but who for various reasons could not be together, get a second chance to explore what’s between them. So I was hoping this would be a warm, loving story about two people that meet up after years apart and fall in love all over again. Unfortunately there were several issues with this story that made it a less than positive reading experience for me.

I’ll start with the most glaring thing about this book that agitated me. This is just a badly edited book. I think I’m more forgiving of bad editing with self-published books than many readers. But by midway into this book I found myself focusing more on the mistakes than the story, which tells me this was worse than the usual. Or maybe I’ve just read too many crappily edited self-pubbed books these days and this was the needle that broke the camel’s back. Whatever the reason, it had a HUGELY negative impact on how I felt about this book because my bad mood about it amplified other issues that might not have bothered me as much if I wasn’t irritated by technical issues.

Just a few Examples. (I bolded or added missing words or punctuation in brackets to show mistakes:

Periods in speech quotes:

“She is fine baby, just fine.” Mamma Hanna interjected.

“I wasn’t being sarcastic. I have been hun gry for a long time and I am starving.” Cheryl replied nonchalantly.

I wanted to tell you one more time so you could understand.” Mahogany admitted.

“Just tell her that you don’t like it that way Mama Hanna. She is there to help you.” Cheryl pleaded

Comma issues:

Mahogany turned around, to see that her Nanna had come into the dining room. “ Nana did you need something?”

When they did [,]she realized that there hadn’t been wearing much underneath her clothes.


Missing words, wrong words, other missing punctuation:

“The last time we were in this parking lot I told you that I love [you] and left it up to you what we should do.

“What do we do know?

“I want you to.”

Thinking about her was the reason that she could not concentrated on her job.

Mahogany tried to shut her brain of but she found it difficult.

Cheryl opened it [. , or and] she stepped to the side so that Mahogany could enter first. A light came on in automatically in the small hallway.

“Where are you going?” Cheryl asked. “I was just trying to give you some room.” Mahogany managed to stammer out. “Don’t you think that you have put enough space between us?” “I’m sorry Cheryl. I never meant to…” “Shhh,[”] Cheryl silenced her, “We will talk but right now that is not what I want to do.”

“Is the water to hot?” Cheryl asked.

Funky sentences, writing or wording:

She let her hands explore Mahogany’s back and they found their way to the ass that was being sculpted by the fabric of the skirt.

She brushed her teeth and entered the shower in the homemade sauna, she let the water run over her head.


Next up, and this is rather unfortunate and a matter of personal taste that maybe won’t affect many readers, this story features a push-pull relationship. Push-pull relationships drive me insane and I don’t find them entertaining IRL or in reading. I also don’t believe in the long term viability of them unless both parties make a drastic change because I feel they are more about obsession than true love. I guess it can happen, but I find the interim so annoying. This is pretty much most of the book.

Cheryl has wanted Mahogany since they were teens. They got together when they were very young before they each had a chance to know who they were as individuals and how they each felt about their own sexuality. It’s understandable that both had a lot to learn. The main issue is that Cheryl has understood that she’s a lesbian, whereas Mahogany is not that clear and is unwilling to really look it for various reasons.

Most of the rest of the story, including flashbacks, is about Cheryl being hurt and angry that Mahogany can’t or won’t be what she needs and getting on her case about it every time they have some communication, and Mahogany making excuses or ignoring or telling Cheryl to leave it be.

That they finally work it out is great. After all that they went through, to finally reach that point where they’re both on the same page should be very satisfying. However, for me, the author didn’t quite make me believe these two will manage long term. And this is mainly because there was no real explanation as to why Mahogany finally came around to really getting that she loves Cheryl as more than just a friend.

Having sex when you’ve been close friends doesn’t exactly turn a relationship into a love story. Mahogany has a great career and is content in that, but no one has really sparked her interest romantically. And she’s going home out of familial duty. None of those are reasons to come to understand finally, after years, that you’re in love someone vs just loving them from having a shared history. She didn’t even go back to specifically work it out with Cheryl, when, if really she loved her, that should have been one of the main reasons. Even after figuring out she loves Cheryl, she’s rather reticent, giving up easily when Cheryl rebukes her. So I wasn’t feeling her in a strong way where Cheryl was concerned. Away from Cheryl though, she’s a likable, dynamic character.

And I was bothered a bit by Cheryl seemingly coming from a place of “you owe me for all that pain and I deserve to control how this relationship is going to work now” feeling. I get that, I really do. After years of being put off she doesn’t like that she’s expected to just let Mahogany walk back into her life without some kind of proof that Mahogany is not just coming around because it’s convenient. But it doesn’t exactly inspire the warm, fuzzy feelings of falling in love all over again.

Mama Hanna is really the best part of this book. She’s that wise family matriarch that that understands that life isn’t always perfect but that love is worth fighting for. Really, if it wasn’t for her, Cheryl and Mahogany would probably still be going back and forth or avoiding.

So bottom line, I think I could have looked at this story in a more positive light had there not been so many grammatical and writing errors, which set me off right away. Also, if the author somehow would have focused more on what was positive between the characters vs the constant negative drama I think I might have had a better feeling overall.

Heat level: 3 some graphically written sexual scenarios

Grade: 2 ½  Stars

Review- Castle of Dark Shadows by Patty G. Henderson

                                                          

Castle of Dark Shadows

By Patty G. Henderson

July 1, 2012

Historical/Lesbian/Gothic

164 pgs

Publisher: Blanca Rosa Publishing

Kindle edition

Olivia Hampton's lifelong love of dark literature led her to accept a job as a cataloger for Julian Dunraven's extensive but extremely disorderly library. The only problem is that the position requires her to work at Dunraven Castle, the remote and mysterious home of the Dunraven family. In Victorian America, a young lady had to either earn her keep or be married off to the best man for her hand. Olivia accepted the position at Dunraven Castle.
Olivia could not have guessed the dangers that awaited her in the exotic but darkly menacing castle. When there is an accident on the road to Dunraven, she wonders: Are the broken carriage wheels mere random misfortune or a sign foretelling doom? Olivia's fears soon turn to mortal terror after a subsequent encounter with a terrifying faceless phantom disabuses her of the 'random misfortune' theory. Frightened but undaunted, she decides to put the nightmare behind her and throw herself into cataloging the enormous Dunraven library.
What Olivia could not have foreseen was the devastatingly beautiful Marion Dunraven's effect on her heart. But the madness that seemed to curse the rest of the Dunraven family makes Olivia realize she must find a way to escape Dunraven Castle with her life and the woman she loves before they both become victims

I read Passion For Vengeance by this author and totally loved it. I like gothics so it was a no brainer to buy some more of this author’s books. What I enjoyed about this book is how quirky it is even as a mystery and an historical.

Right from the beginning, on her way to her new position as a library cataloger for a private residence, Olivia experiences what she feels is an evil being in her coach driver. It’s nighttime and they are pushing through to get to Dunraven Castle. It scares her but she chalks it up to her overactive imagination.

Marion Dunraven has hired Olivia to catalog her father’s extensive, but disorganized, library. Marion is warm and friendly to Olivia but keeps things formal between them, not really trying to interact outside of what they need to discuss. Olivia is immediately attracted to Marion and can’t stop thinking about her. Unfortunately her job in the house as well as her status more as part of the staff offers her little contact with Marion.

As the days go by, in brief meetings, Marion expresses her romantic interest in Olivia. However, it never leaves Olivia feeling confident about what Marion actually feels. This plus the odd things going on all have Olivia feeling somewhat out of place even if she’s in awe that she’s temporarily living in such a beautiful place.

While this story does have a romantic element, this is more about the mystery of what’s going on in the house. Strange things keep happening to Olivia specifically and she and she’s reluctant to discuss them with others.  She has been introduced to Cora, Marion’s sister, who is off. Meaning, everyone quietly suggests she’s mentally unstable even if they don’t contradict her and actually let her do her thing. Cora seems to vacillate between being very friendly and nice and at other times cross and caustic to Olivia. Olivia can’t figure her out but is leery of her.

Then there is Marion’s father, Julian. She meets him totally by accident and he chastises her for interrupting him. His manner is in direct opposition to what he’s really like. He seems to be in control of the house and yet he’s very elusive and almost a recluse.  In fact, most of the characters are not what they seem at first except for Olivia. But the story is told through her voice. Then there is this book in the library that everyone is focused on, a book written by Julian’s long ago ancestor that might be worth a lot of money for the information it contains.

So here’s the thing, while this is a quick and easy read that does capture the essence of a gothic mystery, it didn’t really stand out as a huge wow for me. It’s a decent mystery, although the author did give away too much in the beginning, taking away from what I though was supposed to be a big reveal in the end? Not sure. But the ending is not that surprising.

Then there’s the romantic angle, which was also written in a reserved way. Olivia pines over Marion. Marion does come to Olivia and they get together. But there wasn’t much focus on it; it was more a side bar, which is not a bad thing. But combined with the mystery that didn’t really have depth to it, I felt nothing stood out particularly. Also, the epilogue wrapped things up in a way that didn’t fit with the on page development of the relationship between the two ladies. Meaning, the epilogue focused more on their relationship than the rest of the story did. Or so it seemed to me.

What did totally float my boat in this, and what saved this story for me, is how totally quirky it is. Reading this was rather like hanging out in a carnival combination fun/horror/mirror house in which you feel a bit disoriented, but in a good way. The women speak of love to each other in over the top flowery and dramatic ways that don’t match how they act, which I kind of liked because it seems so unexpected. The characters are all a bit askew in how they act on the surface but not on a one on one basis. And it does have the traditional gothic setting; a quirkily built castle (a la Winchester Mansion), but one that stands out of place to the rest of its environment.

So while individual aspects of this book were lacking, overall, it’s a good, entertaining read. I’d recommend it if you like gothics and or if you’re in the mood for something offbeat.

Heat level: 1-2

Grade: Liked it