Review- Criminal Gold by Ann Aptaker

Criminal Gold
By Ann Aptaker
Nov 2014
Mystery/Era historical 1940’s/ Lesbian/ Crime/ Noir
264 pgs
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Kindle Edition

Midnight, New York Harbor, 1949. Cantor Gold, dapper dyke-about-town, smuggler of fine art, waits in her boat under the Brooklyn Bridge for racketeer Gregory Ortine. In the shadow of the bridge, he’ll toss Cantor a satchel of cash, and she’ll toss him a pouch containing a priceless jewel. But the plan, and the jewel, sink when a woman in a red sequined dress drops from the bridge and slams onto Cantor’s boat. She is Opal Shaw, Society Page darling and fiancée of murder-for-hire kingpin Sig Loreale. Through a night of danger, desire, and double-cross, Cantor must satisfy Loreale’s vengeance, stay ahead of an angry Ortine, and untangle the knots of murder tightening around Opal’s best friend and keeper of her dirty secrets, Celeste Copley, a seductress who excites Cantor’s passion but snares her in a labyrinth of lies. The lies explode in a collision of love, loyalty, lust…and death.

I became aware of this book before it came out and it’s one of those rare books with an unknown author to me that I know I want to read before it comes out. So I was quite excited to read it and it definitely hit the spot for me.

Basically the blurb gives a great idea of what this story is about and the all the main characters involved, so I’ll go more into what I enjoyed about it.

Mostly what I loved about this book was Cantor Gold as a character. She’s not that typical female protagonist/ heroine who does bad things for the greater good. No. She really is a badass, tough woman who makes no excuses for how she lives, what she’s done, and that she lives on the wrong side of the law. I liked this. I’m always fond of characters who don’t fit society’s expectations of what their role should be. Particularly I enjoy female characters that buck the Donna Reed ideal for women of this time period.

She’s also an out lesbian, which for the time period was very dangerous. And as the first scene in the book shows, could get you hurt, badly. But I loved that she dresses like a man and walks through her criminal world unabashedly lesbian and butch. While she is accepted as such in that world in the surface, of course, when push comes to shove she’s once again shown that she will never be accepted in any world due to that. And while it hurts her at times, she ultimately doesn’t care; it’s more important for her to be who she is.

She’s also ruled by her passions. Damn but I loved the scenes with her and Celeste. Even though Celeste is no one to be trusted---she’s definitely a femme fatale type with no loyalty to anyone--- Cantor finds herself fantasizing about all the delicious things she’d do with her. Cantor struggles internally with wanting to save Celeste, mainly because she feels attracted to her, but knowing what ultimately might/probably will happen.

But what’s also appealing about Cantor is that while she’s tough and is mostly out for herself and is portrayed as a player, she does find in the course of events she’s been thrust into that she cares more for Rosie, her current friend with benefits, than she thought. And there’s also a hint that she loved someone once very deeply, showing a more vulnerable side of her.

The language author Ann Aptaker uses is very colorful and evocative throughout, which added a lot to my enjoyment of this book. Particularly, even though not a romance or descriptive in terms of common erotic language, I found the dance between Cantor and Celeste to be somewhat erotic and, well, very entertaining:

“I hope you like Chivas,” I say, handing her a glass. “What’s not to like?” There’s nothing not to like. The whiskey is smooth, the woman sharing it with me is gorgeous, and the way the light from the desk lamp slides along her leg is picturesque. I wouldn’t mind taking my own ride along Celeste’s shapely calves.
…after I take the scenic route along her leg and continue up the rest of her, I finally arrive at her face, where on the other side of that hat veil her eyes accuse me of doing exactly what I am doing: undressing her mentally and having my way with her.”

Outside of some of the focus being on what’s going on through Cantor’s head about Celeste, this is a fast paced crime drama. As Cantor tries to figure how who actually killed Opal, while thinking it’s Celeste and trying to save her life, she falls into all kinds of situations that both luck and smarts get her out of. This story if rife with constant alliance shifts and betrayals in this underworld of criminals and I never really knew how it all might pan out. All of the characters are well-rounded, interesting and solid in who they are.

Almost as important as the language, characters, story, pacing, etc, Criminal Gold definitely had the feel of the time period. I could really imagine being in 1949 in NYC with those characters. The ambiance of it was perfect. Loved it.

Will definitely pick up the next book by this author.

Heat level: 0 – no sex, but a lot of linguistic foreplay.

Grade: 5 Stars

Movie Reviews: Desert Hearts and Purple Sea

Desert Hearts
1985
Lesbian/ bi?/ May-Dec

It is 1950s Nevada, and Professor Vivian Bell arrives to get a divorce. She's unsatisfied with her marriage, and feels out of place at the ranch she stays on, she finds herself increasingly drawn to Cay Rivers, an open and self-assured lesbian, and the ranch owner's daughter. The emotions released by their developing intimacy, and Vivian's insecurities about her feelings towards Cay, are played out against a backdrop of rocky landscapes and country and western songs. 

- Written by Neil Lewis

This is a very sweet and touching love story and I loved this film. It’s also totally offbeat and not the usual kind of story outside of it being a lesbian story. For the time period it’s set in, it’s rather incredible that it was made as is. It doesn’t shy away from or act like being a lesbian is anything out of the norm, which I loved. I also thought it interesting to have an out lesbian in a story set in the 50’s. I guess if there was any place in the US that a woman could be somewhat open about being a lesbian in the 50’s, it could be Reno.

Vivien ends up on a ranch in Nevada, staying there until she can get a quickie divorce. It seems her lawyer has a package deal and this is why she’s there vs. a hotel in town. She’s a professor at Columbia University and doesn’t quite click with people at the ranch. She’s older, prim, quiet, rather uptight, thoughtful, and doesn’t really engage too much with the others. I didn’t blame her, they get on her case for putting on airs as it were.

She explains to her lawyer that while her marriage to another professor is OK and they get along, she feels something is missing and wants more out of life. She has no children and states he would not contest the divorce. It seems contradictory to her character as normally it’s a more passionate personality that would go to such huge lengths for a change. So she’s in a transition in her life although not really looking for any kind of excitement.

Cay is a young woman living on the ranch that her father’s long-time lover owns. She’s an out lesbian and is very outgoing. She works in a casino and is just living life, having brief affairs until “the one” shows up. She and Vivien start talking here and there and slowly they form a friendship. Vivien, while a bit embarrassed when she finds out Cay is a lesbian, surprisingly, doesn’t really judge her. And she’s curious about Cay and her life.

Other stuff going on is that the owner of the ranch, Frances, is a tough woman who feels threatened by Vivien and Cay’s relationship. Even though Cay is not her biological daughter, she thinks of her as such and as she sees Cay falling for Vivien, she gets jealous and causes problems. She sees Vivien as an interloper who’s trying to break up her only family.

What’s so lovely about this story is how actress Helen Shaver’s played Vivien. Cay, being young and brash, openly hits on Vivien. She’s attracted to Vivien in a way she’s not been with the others and feels Vivien could be “the one.” Vivien is a bit freaked out by it and keeps Cay at arm’s length even as she starts feeling something for her. Helen Shaver’s portrayal of a woman falling in love with another woman for the first time is amazing. She shows a deeply nuanced vulnerability and shyness when her character finally allows herself to be intimate with Cay. Both actresses made this story so believable and I felt they fell in love in a very natural, deep, and honest way.

One really good thing about this film is that it’s left off with a definite HFN. So often these lesbian movies leave off with some tragedy and sometimes you just want that the couple you rooted for to get together does and you’re left feeling good. And I liked that Vivien is the one who earnestly wants to keep exploring what they have together. So this is not a straight woman briefly falls for a lesbian then goes back to her life.

Definite recommend.

Heat level- 3-4 nude sex scene, beautifully done.

Grade: 5 Stars

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"Viola di mare" Purple Sea (Italian)
2009
Lesbian/ historical

Set in 19th century Sicily, Angela and Sara have been friends all their lives. But Angela isn't like other girls, she's fearless, and when she develops feeling for Sara she won't hide them. To maintain the forbidden relationship that blossoms between the two women, Angela disguise herself as a man. The two women challenge the rules of society in order to be together in this lush period romance.

Based on a true story

This was an amazing film. Loved it! It’s just gorgeous all around, with the setting and the women and how their love story develops.

I can’t speak for the truth in historical value, but it seemed spot on. The film starts out with the main characters as children, growing up on a small island in which the only industry is rock mining. Angela’s father is the foreman for all the workers on the Island and he’s a cruel, hard man who rules everyone, including his family, with an iron fist. Her father was pissed off that she was born a girl and has never forgiven her mother or her for that.

Sara is the daughter of a maid for the Baron who owns most of what’s on the island. They grow up playing with each other and the other kids of the quarry workers. Sara and Angela are best friends, always together, but Sara has to go to the mainland with her mother with the Baroness. Angela is shown waiting faithfully for Sara to come back.

Fast forward many years and both women are in their early 20’s. Sara comes back and they start their friendship up again. Only this time, Angela makes it clear pretty quickly that she’s in love with Sara and tells her she will marry her. At first Sara is a bit shocked, but quickly warms to that idea and falls in love with Angela as well.

I have to say that I really felt these two were in love. They have so much passion for each other, particularly Angela, who never wavers for a second.

Unfortunately, these two women are living in a place and time when their love is absolutely unacceptable. When Angela’s father tells her she will be married soon, she confesses she loves Sara and is locked up.

What happens after that is such a twist and I’m not sure it could have actually happened as it did, but the idea that it could and they could get away with it is interesting to think about.

Angela’s mother comes up with the idea to call in a favor from the priest and have Angela’s name changed on her birth certificate to say she’s a male. This allows her and Sara to marry. Although her father goes along with it and makes her now the foreman in his place because she is now a man, of course, many in the village don’t accept it and problems do arise, but they manage.



This is such a passionate story of love between two women. And even though not traditionally having an HEA, it’s still a beautiful, satisfying love story.

Heat level: 4- full on naked sex scenes – not done salaciously though

Rating: 5 Stars

Movie reviews: A Perfect Ending, I Can't Think Straight, Kiss Me

A Perfect Ending
2012
F/f-/ May-Dec/ Interracial

Rebecca has a very unusual secret, one that not even her best friends know about. The last person on earth she expects to reveal it to is a high priced escort named Paris. What starts as a comedy of errors ends up a uniquely erotic journey. Rebecca's unconventional efforts to find herself are raw, evocative, and often times humorous, but always very real, very human. Sometimes a perfect ending is not what you expect it to be. 

- Written by Soul Kiss Films

You know how you read a book or watch a movie and the story stays with you for days and days and you realize it affected you on a really deep level, this is what A Perfect Ending was for me. It’s gorgeous story both on a human level and on an aesthetic level in how it’s expressed.

There are a crap ton of reviews for this movie, so what I’m going to say about it is how and why it affected me so deeply. The main thing about this movie for me was how beautifully and lovingly it shows human vulnerability and the growth that can happen from a relationship, even a relationship with a complete stranger, and also almost strictly a sexual relationship, in which two people feel totally safe to let themselves open up and heal from personal wounds. It’s also about how we come to terms with what’s important when faced with mortality.

On more practical levels, I love that it featured a middle aged women and a sex worker who is empowered by her choice to be a call girl.

Just for edification, this is not a romance. Nor is it really a lesbian story. Neither of the main characters are lesbians. It’s not about sexual passion either. I do feel this is a love story though and definitely it’s a story about connecting deeply on a human level. But also a warning, ending might disappoint. For me it was more about the ride, the here and now vs forever in what I felt this story was meant to portray.

Rebecca is wealthy middle aged woman who on the surface seems to have it all. And she does-- on the surface. She’s not that unhappy or miserable in general, she just seems to accept the status quo and doesn’t think about her needs or wants too much. There is though, a family secret that has caused her a lot of pain and she cannot get passed it at times.

While out with her best friends, a lesbian couple, she confesses that she’s never felt passion. Nor has she never had an orgasm. This of course shocks her friends who cannot believe it. She further confesses that her marriage is not that great and she rarely has sex. Her friends suggest that maybe she needs a woman to show her what she and her body can feel. They know a madam who runs an agency for call girls and think maybe it would be easier for her if she hired one of those girls to help her with that. She decides to go for it but under the condition that the woman be her own age.

Paris is a young woman who is grieving the loss of her fiancé. She is a call girl by night but an artist by day and she’s definitely not in it for the money only, she’s working out her grief by being a call girl. Maybe it’s her way feel some control about her life during this process. When her older colleague, the one who was supposed to go to Rebecca, asks her to meet Rebecca because she has an emergency, she agrees. When she gets there though, Rebecca is shocked that she ended up with a younger woman, freaks out, and decides not to go through with it. But Paris is very intense and open and accepting and seems to know exactly what Rebecca is about. And Rebecca picks that up. 

Rebecca tries a few more times- getting the older woman second time, whom she decides is so not for her, then asks for Paris again. In 3rd meeting, Paris again tries to seduce her but puts no pressure on Rebecca. Finally, Rebecca decides to go for it and it’s amazing for her.

Here I want to interject that actress Barbara Niven did an amazing job of expressing all those fears of not being appealing or desirable being an older woman with older women body flaws. And kudos to her as an actress, who is a very nice looking woman and has an image to maintain, that she showed her actual physical flaws in this movie. I think that took a lot of courage and added to her actual vulnerability as a character.

The first sex scene is really about Rebecca letting go and trusting. Paris being a much younger, very gorgeous woman has the power in this, but she’s portrayed as sort of an experienced, wise, old soul who really is accepting and understanding. She does feel a connection with Rebecca that is beyond their “business” arrangement, so it’s more for her as well. This connection she feels, maybe because Rebecca is also in a very vulnerable space, helps Paris also let go of her grief in a very intimate way.

In case anyone is wondering—although you can see most of the sex scenes are on youtube—the sex between the women is very loving, soft and even though both are naked- it’s not salacious in any way. In fact, there were moments I felt I didn’t want to watch because it felt like I was intruding on some deeply intimate moments. Not the intimacy of sex alone, but the intimacy of being emotionally raw and open during sex. So if you’d watch for some hot girl on girl sex, this is not the movie.

Other than this, I love how this film was filmed. It has almost a Zen-like feel to it. There are lots of fade in and out scenes with action but no words. Since the two women only meet in the hotel room and don’t talk about their lives with each other, the back story of both women, where they are coming from, is told through most of those silent or brief snippets in between them meeting.

The other characters also added a lot to this film. It’s much more than two women connecting, it’s also about life and love and family from and what that all means for a woman.

All in all this movie grabbed me and I’d definitely recommend it, especially if you’re about two people connecting beyond a sexual orientation or if you’re an older woman who would love a story about having courage to experience new things.

Bonus for this movie is that the actress who played Paris is an out lesbian. Something you don’t see hardly ever in lesbian movies. Mostly it’s straight women playing lesbians. So kudos for getting an actual GLBT person to play that role.

Heat level: 3-4- full nudity and sex scenes, very beautifully and aesthetically filmed. Not salacious in any way.

Grade: 5 Stars

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I Can’t Think Straight (British)
2008
Lesbian/ Multicultural

Adaptation of book by Shamim Sarif
A 2008 romance film adapted from a same name novel about a London-based Jordanian of Palestinian descent, Tala, who is preparing for an elaborate wedding. A turn of events causes her to have an affair and subsequently fall in love with another woman, Leyla, a British Indian. 

- Written by Shamim Sarif

I have another book written by this author of the book this story is based off of that I’ve yet to read, so I decided to watch this film instead of that one.

What I loved about this film is that this is a love story that happens between two people from very different backgrounds that happens despite familial, cultural, political and generational conflicts.

Both Tala and Leyla are young women caught between two worlds. They are both living in England, although Tala goes back and forth between Jordan and England. They’ve been brought up exposed to western culture, but both have homes and parents that try to keep their own traditional homeland culture alive. This is one of the main conflicts for both of them and also maybe what helps them understand each other even though of different cultural backgrounds.

They meet just by chance as Leyla’s boyfriend is a friend of Tala. Tala is on her 4th wedding planning, having walked out on the first 3 fiancés just before the wedding. Tala is rather rebellious and being from a wealthy family, her whims and flightiness are somewhat tolerated.

Leyla is a lot more deep and serious about life. She’s a Muslim in her heart, mind and belief, but she doesn’t always go to prayer with her family. She’s also struggling with the contradictions of being a woman growing up in a western culture while dealing with her mother who is very strong in trying to keep their Indian culture alive. This especially becomes an issue when she comes out to her family.

Both women clash at first as Tala, who grew up as a Palestinian Christian Arab, argues that religion and belief are bogus, which kind of pisses Leyla off. But slowly they come together and become good friends and find themselves attracted to each other both romantically and sexually.

Of course, as with many romances between women when one is currently with a man, the main problem between them becomes that Tala is getting married. In this case, I was rather surprised that Tala, who seems to be the more open as one who bucks the system in many ways, feels very strongly about not coming out and won’t defy her family’s culture. She argues with Leyla that Leyla doesn’t get how hard it would be to do that with her family and in Jordan, where the man she’s to marry is from.

On the other hand, this affair pushes Leyla internally to decide that she can’t or won’t hide who she is to her family and friends anymore. So until Tala is willing to accept who she is, Leyla will not see her.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t feeling the romance so much between these two women even though it’s shown they have had attractions to women in the past. Somehow it felt a bit too insta-love for me, which is maybe why this film didn’t affect me other than I love stories that include characters of other cultures and in which those cultures are part of the story. I think maybe it’s also because I wasn’t feeling Tala as a character. She was a little too superficial and a bit cocky for me for most of the film and I felt her not really that serious about Leyla.

But I did feel that Leyla is really in love with Tala and she, as a character, made the film for me.

Other than that, I felt the film didn’t shy away from the truths or realities of cultural and political clashes. I feel some people might be offended by some of what is expressed, however, I took all at face value and as a true portrayal of what is real for people of those cultures.

I’d definitely recommend this if you’re looking for something a bit different culturally. But as a romance goes, it was just OK.

Heat level: 2 – some sex, no nudity

Grade: 3 ½ Stars

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Kyss Mig -Kiss Me (Swedish)
2011
Lesbian/ bi?

Young woman engaged to be married finds herself in an affair with her stepmother's lesbian daughter.

This was one of the better lesbian movies I saw during my marathon. And I guess from others in the lesbian community they think it’s one of the better ones as well.

Elizabeth and Lassa are an older couple who are about to be married. Both have older, independent children. Lasse had a contentious divorce and his daughter Mia still feels angry with him about what happened. Consequently, she hasn’t visited often. Elizabeth has a grown daughter who is an out lesbian and in a relationship and lives nearby.

At the pre-wedding party, all of them meet for the first time and family drama ensues.

Mia (played by Ruth Vega Fernandez) is sulky and cranky because her father isn’t spending the time with her that she wants. He’s always busy with some job thing. She also shows a pissed/sad face whenever she sees Frida, Elizabeth’s daughter. Frida is light and fun and both Mia’s brother and fiancé are enjoying with Frida. I will say that actress Ruth Vega Fernandez has the perfect sad/pissed off look that worked here.

Anyway, as the days go on, Mia, who is an architect with her fiancé, is to design and extension on a lake house that Lasse and Elizabeth have bought. Lasse was supposed to meet them, but leaves Mia alone with both Elizabeth and Frida, which pisses her off and freaks her out. All of her interactions with Frida show she’s not too happy with this.

However, one night at the cabin, she follows Frida who is out walking in the woods. They barely talk, but then she suddenly kisses Frida. She acts freaked that she did that, but at the same time both women get sexual fairly quickly after that. Of course, as the days go on and they start really falling in love, Frida basically states she will not be a fling for Mia and cuts it off. This forces Mia to confront what she really feels and how far she’s willing to go to be with Frida.

Of course, this new development messes with Mia’s plans for marriage and a lot of pain for all characters in this story happens due to this new love between these women. I felt it was dealt with in a realistic way. I guess there is no easy way to follow your heart when it’s going against everyone you love and the convenience of life at times. But this was one of the better parts of the film.

The only negative thing I will say is that like so many of the lesbian movies I watched these last few weeks, insta-love seemed to be a thing here. I wish there was more of a build-up to why Mia would be attracted to Frida and why Frida would fall so madly in love with Mia that she leaves her long-time girlfriend. There really wasn’t much between them that did show that.

However, what saves this movie is that in the end, I really believed these women want each other badly. Enough that both risk so much to go for it.

For those wondering, this is not really a straight girl falls for a girl and discovers she’s a lesbian. Mia did have a love affair with a woman in the past but felt it freaked her out. So it’s more like lesbian in the closet finally having the guts to be true to herself.

Anyway… this is a definite recommend to watch. I can’t really believe this is the first Swedish lesbian film. Seems like the stereotype that Europeans are more open about stuff like this is not always true.

Heat level: 3-4 Nude sex scene, done showing lots of passion.

Grade: 4 ½ Stars

Review--The Rules by S. Renee Bess

The Rules
By S. Renee Bess
April 7, 2014
Lesbian fiction/ Mature/ African American/ Contemporary
172 pgs
Publisher: Regal Crest Enterprises, LLC
Kindle Edition

Blackmail, murder, missing persons, and concealed identities link lives that otherwise, would have remained unconnected.

London Phillips searches for affirmation and for Milagros Farrow, a revered lesbian author who seems to have vanished.

Lenah Miller arms herself against memories of her past as well as those who dismiss her because their backgrounds differ.

Rand Carson seeks to replace one lost interracial relationship with a second one.

Candace Dickerson executes a plot to enrich herself with other peoples' earnings.
The threads entwined around London's desire for connection with a kindred spirit, Lenah's wary skepticism, Rand's misguided ardor, and Candace's greed come undone when three fall victim to blackmail, one reappears from the ethers of the past, and another succumbs to murder.

I loved, loved this book. I wrote part of this review and posted it on Goodreads not really ready to fully express what I felt about this book. It's so deep and nuanced and maybe too hard for me to articulate everything I felt about it. It left me feeling like I had made a new friend who intimately shared an interesting life with me.

The Rules touches on so many different issues. Most particularly issues around being an African American and a lesbian and dealing with the expectations of both the white and black community both culturally and on a personal level. The way the characters experience their lives is expressed with a lot of insight into those issues. It's also about the importance of shared experiences in making relationships work and also the comfort involved in that even if a relationship doesn't flourish.

That this story is about mature women was another huge plus. It's fairly rare to read about women who are at a stage in their lives when experience has taught them that they don't have to rush into anything and can make decisions on who they are vs what’s expected in furthering their careers and in relating.

Author S. Renee Bess excels at in-depth characterizations and weaving a good story. Each of the characters in this story have distinct personalities and we get to see how each change slightly depending on who they are relating to. They are all connected even if they are unaware of how. And I particularly respect that all of the characters have flaws. Just when I'd think, oh I like this character and hope it works out for them, they do something kind of crappy and then I’d think, oh this is an interesting twist. However, their vulnerabilities were shown as well so it was easy to see their point of view even with negative traits at times.

London is sort of the main character and whenever she’s on screen, the story is written in first person. The other characters get a lot of page time as well so each reader might relate to any of them. Due to starting the book at the point of London’s childhood and upbringing, we get to see some of the experiences that helped shape who she is now in time. She’s an older woman who is at a point in her life when she wants to advance her career and maybe find love, but is in many ways accepting of where she’s at as well. There’s a certain assuredness and quietness about her, which seems to come from age and experience. She’s a very likable character and it’s through her we see the issues she and others face as an African Americans, women, and lesbians. We get to see her come to terms with her decisions about her life that are at times in conflict with the expectations of her community and how she’s been brought up.

Lenah, one of the other main characters, is portrayed as having both positive and negative qualities, as are most of the characters What I found intriguing about her is that the demise of her last relationship is about her not being ambitious enough for her partner, but when she meets London, she gets on her case about her career choices. Her role in this story is more about the shared experiences I mentioned up stream. She and London have a rocky start in their relationship, but in the end, it’s their shared commonality of being African American and lesbians and having similar cultural experiences even though they come from different social statuses. What I liked about her is that once a huge weight is lifted from her shoulders she becomes more open and honest with London, when she had been more critical of her initially. She changes and grows and I liked that.

It’s through both of these women that we also get to experience the everyday racism they experience in the form of “good intentions” from white people who think they are allies. This leads me to another thing I loved about this book; this is the first story really in which I’ve read a racist, appropriator white character who isn’t the overt, easy to hate racists.

Rand is an interesting character in that she thinks she’s standing up for, fighting for and supporting African Americans, but is really a fetishizer of black women and an appropriator of black culture. She is the typical white person who thinks they are progressive and open minded, but who are so totally clueless in how racist they really are. Renee Bess did an amazing job of showing vs telling, making the impact of that dichotomy more potent.

Candace is an easily dislikable character and maybe the only one who the author really didn’t go into what makes her tick. However, she’s kind of the catalyst for events that affect all the characters in both good and bad ways so maybe her being less explained was good.

I’d also like to point out that Renee Bess offers incredible insight into how we make judgments based on race and how our social upbringing affects our choices. Normally I’m not really for reading stories that are not clearly romance or suspense like this story is, however, Renee Bess totally sucked me in with her writing and her ability to articulate these issues and made me think about a lot about my own attitudes and what are the everyday experiences of African Americans and lesbians.

I think this author's writing is getting better and better. Will definitely pick up another of her books.

Heat level: 0

Grade: 5 Stars

Review- Cream by Christiana Harrell

Cream
By Christiana Harrell
Aug 31, 2013
Contemporary/Lesbian/Stud/Romance/Erotica/African American
230 Pgs
Pub-Self
Kindle Edition

Cream, an androgynous beauty, knows what it’s like to be abandoned, broke, and used. Left to the state by her parents and taken under the wing of her selfish foster mother, Cream sets her focus on one thing: money. She dives head first into the exotic lifestyle of stripping. Starting out in gentlemen clubs, drama seems to follow her wherever she goes. Instead of facing the turmoil, she moves on to the next city, causing more chaos than what she left behind.

She thinks she has life all figured out until she crosses paths with Payton, a daddy’s girl with lots of cash and a lust for women. Payton makes her learn things about herself that she never saw possible and with her new discovery comes a big change in her look and personality.

Cream is at the top of her game, surrounded by money and beautiful women. Then, one wild night forces her to discover yet another truth about herself and face the reality of her lifestyle. Will she continue to dwell in her unstable comfort zone? Or, will she finally open her eyes?

If I could ever call a book a reader whisperer, this would be it for me. Cream spoke to me in so many awesome and amazing ways. It’s such a raw and powerfully positive story of growth and acceptance. Cream as a character is also one of the most intense, real and dynamic female leads I’ve read in a long time.

What I loved so much about Cream is that she’s written as someone having a nice combination of savvy, rough street smarts and innocence. It’s that underlying innocent part of her, the part she’s managed to keep even with all the negative obstacles she’s had to deal with that helps her change and grow once she allows that part of her to emerge. That’s not to say she doesn’t have a lot of flaws and isn’t a nasty shit at times. But this is what makes her an interesting, complex character.

I also got off on how the author wrote this book. The way this story is written: language (colloquial), pacing, character development, were all spot on for me. The growth of Cream is slowly done and we get to see her change as she learns from her relationships and experiences. It’s a natural progression and I liked that it wasn’t rushed or that she suddenly had an epiphany that wasn’t natural to her character.

That the author wrote a character who works in the sex industry but isn’t being controlled, or doing it for “good” reasons, was a huge plus for me. Cream chooses it after that first night. She did have a crappy childhood. And she ends up stripping because she was pimped out by someone who should have protected her. But she embraces it, becomes the best stripper, and uses it to her advantage. She also enjoys it and makes no excuses, nor does she blame the world for it. And shockingly, she stays unaffected by the sexual nature of it, never having any attractions or sexual encounters.

One of Cream’s worst characteristics is being unable to get close to people and running all the time. She seemed to be missing the empathy chip for a good part of this book and I wondered if she’s actually just out of touch with her feelings, or if she really feels as emotionally cold towards others as she acts. But it’s clear after a while it’s a survival technique. It’s also what throws her into meeting new people and having experiences that push her out of that. 

Of course, both good and unsavory characters enter her life. And I will say that what was appealing to me was that there were no stereotypical characters. People who you’d think would try and take advantage of Cream don’t and those who you’d think would normally be nice, aren’t. I loved that.

This story is about Cream, but several other characters are very compelling as well. Payton is an interesting character in that she starts Cream on the road to growth, albeit, unknowingly. She’s the impetus for Cream to see that she has a lot of talent and helps her career flourish.  She’s also the one who turns Cream on to women, suggesting she’s not just a lesbian, but a stud. At first it felt like Payton would be a very positive influence on Cream in all aspects, not just her career, but things didn’t go as I thought.

Then there is Tasia. Tasia is the antithesis of pretty much everyone Cream has met. Tasia, like Cream, has been abused on several levels, but has kept her heart, hope and humanity. Even when she’s so clearly treated like shit from her fiancé and by her best friend, she still manages to keep hope that one day she will find love. This is not to say she’s a doormat. Like Cream though, she’s managed to keep some innocence locked away but it’s more on the surface for her.

Tasia and Cream meet mainly due to a betrayal, but more so because Tasia looks very much like the only “friend” Cream had ever had and probably the only person she had any feelings of love towards. Although Cream tries her usual shtick with Tasia, keeping things at a distance, something about Tasia’s vulnerability and positivity worms its way into Cream’s psyche and slowly breaks down her hard core emotional wall. Tasia also has an easy going, loving, but non-threatening or needy way about her that sparks something in Cream wherein for the first time in her life she finds herself opening up to another person and caring about their well-being.

I know there are some negative aspects to this book. There were some editing issues and well, I know intellectually it’s not subject matter for everyone; it represents a fairly specific world. Also, some (lesbians) might not like that Tasia’s sexual orientation is not really clear and it’s written more as she loves Cream vs being attracted to women. And also for my taste, even Cream, while clearly into women and not ever having an attraction to men, won’t commit to stating she’s a lesbian. However, I got so sucked into the story and the characters, I didn’t notice those things or they didn’t bother me. 

I would love to read another book by this author.

Heat level: 4-5- some graphic sexual situations, but more tell than show. But graphic language used.

Grade: 5 Stars

Review- The Messenger by KC Blake, Lavinia Marksman

The Messenger (A Lesbian Romance)
KC Blake, Lavinia Marksman
Jan 5, 2014
F-f/ erotica/Contemporary/Romance/Interracial/ May-Dec
54 Pgs
Pub-Self
Kindle Edition

A refreshingly new take on modern lesbian romance!
Lucy Murphy is a corporate shark. She’s a master of the deal and a force not to be reckoned with. For all her power and expertise, however, she lives in a self-imposed bubble. When her work life isn’t as satisfying as it once was, she begins to doubt her powers and wonders if there could be something more.

One day, a tough young messenger comes into the office, who entrances Lucy with her shockingly white hair and her “don’t mess with me” attitude. One gaze from this young woman divides Lucy’s life into before and after. Could this be the beginning of something wonderful, or just another sign that Lucy’s losing it?

Romantic and deeply moving, "The Messenger" is an unconventional love story that will stay with you long after the final page.

This was an amazing, lucky find for me. I was buying another book and Amazon had this on that page as a--you may like this one too. I liked the cover and the blurb grabbed me so I took the chance. And it was well worth it.

As the blurb says, Lucy is a corporate shark. Characters like this can rub me the wrong way depending on how they’re written. You know they can be too hard-nosed with no conscience, cruel and hard to sympathize with. Lucy walked that fine line but was very appealing because while she does have those characteristics, she’s extremely self-aware. And that was the main appeal of this story for me because it’s told from her POV.

Self-aware characters are my favorite. I love a character who is flawed, is maybe not very nice at times, but who becomes aware of it and is very perceptive about how people around them experience that. Maybe they don’t make excuses for their behavior or they even use it to their advantage, like Lucy does for her job. But they have the ability to learn, grow and change from having that innate understanding of themselves and others and that spurs character growth.

Lucy is also willing to let go of what’s she’s been and has felt who she is to break out of a mold she’s starting to feel trapped in. And damn, but I love the idea of saying screw it to all one’s responsibilities and doing something so crazy and off the wall, damn the consequences. It’s a nice fantasy and fun to read since it’s often a dream of many of us.

So, “Rabbit” as she calls herself, is the cause for Lucy’s sudden self-reflection.  Rabbit demands that Lucy come out and sign for a package she’s delivering. Lucy doesn’t have to sign herself, but Rabbit forces her by acting as if she gives a crap about the consequences to her job if she walks away with the package without delivering it. The gall of that piques Lucy; she doesn’t do the bidding of others, they do it for her. But being the first and really only person to ever stand up to Lucy grabs Lucy’s attention.

Lucy finds herself obsessed with finding Rabbit. She can’t stop thinking about her and goes looking for her. She finds her but she’s got a lot of judgments that she unconsciously expresses that she needs look at in order to get Rabbit’s respect. 

Rabbit is just as turned on by Lucy and while being just as proud and resolute, she doesn’t resist when Lucy finds her and they hook up. Like Lucy, Rabbit is written is such a way that she has a lot of pride, and although she wants to have something with Lucy she will not let Lucy get away with disparaging remarks about her and puts Lucy in her place.

The sex is no holds barred hot. While it’s Lucy’s first time with a woman, and she muses that she’s never been attracted to a woman before, she also muses that men and sex in general haven’t been an issue at all, not until she met Rabbit.

Just an FYI, Rabbit is probably almost half Lucy’s age. So there is a bit of the May/Dec thing going on. However, that didn’t seem to be an issue with either and it didn’t come across as squicky in any way. To me at least.

Although a short novella and technically not really a “lesbian romance” as part of the title suggests, it is a provocative and juicy story that hints at a future for these two characters. I would scoop up any other lesbian story this author writes in a heartbeat. I loved the straightforwardness of the characters and the writing.

Heat level: 3-4- one semi graphically written sex scene

Grade: Loved it

Review- Silver Wings by H.P. Munro

Silver Wings

By H. P. Munro

Oct 15, 2013

Lesbian/Era Historical 1940’s/Romance/Multicultural

251 Pgs

Pub: self?

Kindle Edition

When in 1943, twenty-five-year-old Lily Rivera is widowed, she finally feels able to step out of the shadows of an unhappy marriage. Her love of flying leads her to join the Womens Airforce Service Pilots, determined to regain her passion and spread her wings, not suspecting that she would experience more than just flying.
Helen Richmond, a Hollywood stunt pilot, has never experienced a love that lifted her as high as the aircraft she flew…until she meets Lily.
Both women join the W.A.S.P. program to serve their country and instead find that they are on a collision course towards each other, but can it last?

This book was a lucky find for me. In fact, I don’t remember how or where I heard about it, but I’m glad I bought it. It’s one of those stories that crept up on me and left me feeling a bittersweet sadness. Not that this is a sad book, not in the least. It’s an upbeat and beautiful love story as well as an accurate depiction of the time period and history of the W.A.S.Ps.

Lily has lost her husband in the war, and being a pilot, decides to join the W.A.S.P program to help out her country. Coming out of her interview she passes Helen, a beautiful blond woman who somehow attracts her attention.

Helen notices Lily right away and feels the same immediate attraction. She is a lesbian however, so it’s not a strange feeling for her.  Luckily for them, they end up being assigned the same living quarters at the training camp.

The two women become fast friends during their training and slowly little glances and innocent touches start happening between them. They both feel an energy between each other, but circumstances don’t allow them to explore or acknowledge it. It’s especially uncomfortable for Lily because she’s aware of an attraction but doesn’t completely understand the nature of it.

Even though the 40’s was not a time period where same sex couples could be open, and especially it was illegal in many places and particularly the military, it wasn’t that odd if women cuddled or slept in the same bed or comforted each other. This is exactly the situation that Lily and Helen end up in and living and working together in a close atmosphere gives them a chance to get closer and have little touches without attracting suspicion. At the same time, it created more sexual tension between them until they were able to finally express their true feelings. What’s nice about how their romance developed was the fact that their relationship as friends had time to grow as well. So it’s totally believable that they would invest in a future relationship.

While the romance is in the foreground, there are a lot of other aspects to this story that made it a fun and gratifying read to me. First are the other characters who stand out in their own right. The women assigned to bay four are an eclectic mix of women who all have distinct personalities and all come from completely different backgrounds. As the women slowly get to know each other secrets that some are hiding come out. Secrets that could potentially be harmful. But they all accept and stick up for each other and I liked this. It’s actually kind of refreshing to read a story with a bunch of female characters in which at some point it doesn’t turn into a catty bitch fest.

Also on characters, the author doesn’t go for the default, which was also refreshing. Lily is Hispanic and shares an apartment in NYC with an African American woman, both working in night clubs as a musician and singer. Lily, besides being a great pilot, is also a concert violinist in the NY Philharmonic. One of the other women is married to a black man, who is a lawyer but serving in war. She hides that she’s married because her marriage is illegal in Texas but not in her state of MA. So I loved that the author didn’t go with stereotypes, which actually made it more realistic and appealing due to that.

Other issues of the time were addressed as well. A local Texas dept. store wouldn’t serve Lily because they “don’t serve Mexicans.” Racism and sexism of the time are realistically shown but are tempered by the women themselves standing up against it.

The other interesting part is the actual history of what the W.A.S.P.s did. While they didn’t fight in the war and weren’t part of the military, their contribution was great. The author really got the historical facts correct and the small, intricate details accentuated and created an authentic feel that this was set in 1943 and that the women were pilots.  

Ultimately though, it’s about two women who fall in love and try to navigate how to be together during this time period and being separated due to their service and social mores of the time. I liked that the author did both a prologue and an epilogue from current time. It gave a strong feeling of a life- long interesting history of a woman, her love, and other women who had guts and lived what they wanted to.

Heat level: 3- not very graphic written, but several sex scenes. Also, first time to read very erotic foreplay and sex in terms of how one starts and preps a plane for take- off.

Grade: Really liked it

Review- Turn Me Out by T. Ariez

Turn Me Out
By T. Ariez
June 17, 2013
Contemporary/Lesbian/Erotica/Stud4Stud/ AA
16 pgs
Kindle edition

Angel and Ace are best friends who happen to both be studs. When Angel realizes that she has developed feelings for Ace, she devises a plan that will go against everything she's ever known and believed. She is tired of the traditions and rules that make her feelings taboo and decides to risk everything. Will it all be worth the risk?

This is a short, quicky story, but I loved it. The author has a fresh, straightforward voice but one which is also infused with a lot of heart.

I have little to vague knowledge of the sub groups that are part of the lesbian community. I have read some butch/femme and stone butch stuff, so it’s not unfamiliar. But this is the first time I’ve read about stud and boi relationships. So part of my turn-on in reading this was being introduced into this world. T. Ariez did a great job of giving an explanation for anyone not familiar with this that was integrated well with the flow of the story and didn’t feel like a wiki side bar. I did google some things though to get a better idea of some of the slang.

As a character, Angel is that person I’d love to know IRL. She’s going through a transformation of her identity and risks a lot to go with feelings that defy everything she feels she is and has represented until this point. She’s become attracted to another stud, Ace, whom she’s buds with, a taboo in her world. Not only that, she finds these new feelings also include wanting to be touched and be more feminine, which are diametrically opposite to her stone stud identity.

While Angel goes about getting with Ace in a way that some might feel wrong, she’s so open and vulnerable and humble as she goes for it in the only way she can think of to get Ace to see her as a potential partner. Even Ace, who reacts in the way Angel almost knew she would, feels Angel’s openness and it affects her way of thinking even though her initial reaction was pretty negative.

That this is a story of being fluid vs. fixed is a huge plus for me. I love characters that act outside “their” box. I especially enjoy characters that are willing to look at the status-quo and change if that’s what’s happening to them.

I also want to point out that this is perfect in the way it’s written, meaning the set-up, pacing, and how it ends. It leaves the door open for some more exploration of Angel and Ace’s relationship, which is kind of juicy. But it’s very satisfying in and of itself.

I definitely recommend Turn Me Out even if you’re not into the specifics of sexual/relationship constructs of various sub groups within the lesbian world. It’s an honest and sexy story that everyone can relate to. I can’t wait to read more of these two characters. Or anything by this author.

Heat level: 4-5. Graphic sexual language and scenarios.

Grade: Loved it

Review- Dysphoria, The Admirer by Karelia Stetz-Waters

Dysphoria

Title Has been changed to:

The Admirer
By Karelia Stetz-Waters
January 24, 2013
Lesbian/Contemporary/Mystery-Suspense
Pgs 252
Publisher: Artema Press Incorporated
Kindle version

Helen Ivers is running from a horrific past to what she hopes will be the safety of a small New England town. As the president of Pittock College, another tragedy explodes into her life soon after her arrival. Besieged by memories of her mentally ill sister, which refuse to let her rest, she must face an abomination even as her mind begins to unravel. A young woman died on the train tracks in a shockingly brutal manner.

Reeling from the murder and the threat to her students, Helen is approached by professor Adair Wilson, who draws her into her life and her confidence amid a web of swirling deception.

Ivers and Wilson are as desperate to know the identities of the victim and killer as the killer and the police are to hide them. Whether Adair is Helen’s savior and can be trusted as a lover becomes increasingly unclear as Helen becomes a target.

In a crisis with no clear allies, Helen must not only learn the truth but fight to stay alive. The killer is watching and she has been chosen. Every hour of doubt, fear, and hopeless investigation brings the bone saw closer.

Dysphoria/ The Admirer is an extremely taut, well-written psychological thriller. Karelia Stetz-Waters, did an amazing job of getting not only into the main characters’ heads, but the killer’s and his victims as well. The setting is also perfect: a small New England college town, located next to an abandoned asylum. It offers the perfect backdrop for  chilling serial killings and main characters who have their own dark psychological issues.

Helen is a fascinating character even if she borders slightly on being a cliché as a mark/ victim common to psychological thrillers. She’s suffered and is still suffering over the death of her sister, a mentally ill woman who died in a horrific way. As with many people who deal with a loved one on a regular basis who has a mental illness, she feels a lot of pain that she wasn’t able to help or save her sister as well as feeling guilt that on some level she wanted to have her own life and not have to deal with it.

Like many other people who suffer a major tragedy they feel guilt for, she acts out in ways that are self-destructive to her being as well as her reputation. On the surface, she’s cool and collected and professional as the head of a college. However, she also has a deep vulnerability and teeters on the edge of a nervous breakdown. This helps her feel a close kinship with the victims and helps her push the police and others who seem not willing to really look into what’s going on.

While this is not really a romance, there is a slight romantic angle to this story. Adair is a young professor who is stirring up the students, creating more energy around the alleged murder to the chagrin of the school establishment. Even though she’s fighting for justice for the victim, she’s rather like a loose cannon in her manner. She’s rebellious and brash and very passionate. She also goes for what she wants and she wants Helen. In her own way, she acts in ways that push Helen’s mental state into more chaos because she’s got her own issues that challenge Helen.

Also to comment on the romantic angle, I rather liked how it didn’t develop in the usual way. In fact, Helen and Adair’s first sexual encounter is quite bizarre and definitely fits with the dark theme of the story. But I also liked how Helen, who seems locked up emotionally, also accepts the fact that she’s being seduced by a woman and goes with it.

The killer: to be honest, I guessed who it was fairly early on, but did love that I couldn’t really know for sure until the end. The author really gets into his head, his past, where he’s coming from in lots of detail. I say “his” because that’s the pronoun the author used when describing him and his past. However, the way this story is written, it could be anyone, including a woman who has pretended to be a man. Of course he has his own psychological issues even if a straight up sociopath.

I thought the pacing of this story was perfect. The author drops clues along the way as the investigation goes on. Helen and Adair start working in tandem, even if being at odds, to prove that there is a killer. The story goes back and forth between different character points of view (not head hopping), which made this a well-rounded story. And while not suspenseful in an intense way, it is a quick page turner.

I see that the author has titled this as the first in a series. I will totally snatch up the next book as soon as it comes out.

Heat level: 2-3- one or two semi graphic sexual scenarios

Grade: 5 Stars

Review- Ghost Trio by Lillian Q. Irwin

Ghost Trio 
By Lillian Q. Irwin  
April 16, 2013

Contemporary Gothic/ Lesbian/ Interracial/ mystery
264 pgs
Pub: Bold Strokes Books

Lee Howe, a professional pianist, comes to Southern California from New York on a mournful mission: She believes that if she can see the site where her beloved Devorah met her death, she will begin to accept that she must move on with her own life. Devorah Manikian had been rehearsing for a starring role in Carmen and was living in Eggerscliffe, a 1920s-style pseudo-castle belonging to wealthy and eccentric impresario, Annajean Eggers. Devorah was gone only a few weeks before Lee was notified that she was dead—killed in a tower fire at Eggerscliffe. But as Lee stands alone on a deserted patch of beach just below the castle, she hears Devorah singing. Is it the cocktail of tranquilizers, sleeping pills, anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety drugs Lee has been taking since the announcement of Devorah’s death that makes her hallucinate her beloved’s voice—or is Devorah being kept a prisoner somewhere in Eggerscliffe?

Wow, I really enjoyed this book. There are so many elements to it that intrigued me and satisfied my love of a good mystery. There’s also a romantic angle although it’s not a romance in the traditional sense.  

It’s definitely gothic in feel even though a contemporary. In fact, one of the pleasures about reading this book was not being too sure what time period this is set in. My mind kept latching on to contradictions : mentions of modern technology vs mentions of 1930’s Marlene Dietrich and clothing styles, places. Even the way the characters spoke, language used without modern colloquialisms, made me question the time period. Maybe it was also because this story is set in the timeless world of classical music and musicians, which has a cultured elegance of its own. It was like a mystery within a mystery.

Lee is the main character and it’s her passionate nature that drives this story. This book starts out with Lee going to San Diego where Devorah, her partner of 15 years has died, trying to get some closure.  Maybe being in the physical place will help her. At the bottom of the cliff below the castle where Devorah has died, she hears her lover singing a favorite piece that they considered personal to them as a couple and this starts her on the path of insisting that Devorah must be alive. She’s so internally passionate about it that she’s willing to risk her friends thinking she’s crazy, even thinking she’s crazy herself at times, never being sure if it’s true.

What I liked about Lee is that she’s so determined. Her love of Devorah after all those years together is still so intense that she will do anything, even risking some possible danger to herself from Annajean, whom she thinks has Devorah locked up somewhere in her home. Her intensity is such that because it’s unknown if Devaroh is actually alive or not I wondered if really she is the one losing it.

Annajean is clearly odd and a character that I wish the authors had given more depth to. She’s the catalyst for all that is going on and yet there’s not much about her background or what makes her tick. This is the only negative thing I can say about this book. I was craving to know more about her. The authors do give her a history, which sheds some light, but it’s vague at the very most and I think she is such a delicious character that I felt she warranted more depth. She’s also the main essence of this story being a classic gothic story.

Since Devorah is also a huge part of the story but is not present, I thought the authors did a great job with flashbacks to give the reader a good feel for who Devorah is as well. Soon after Lee hears Devorah, there’s a flashback to Lee and Devorah’s life together, who they are as people and how it came about that Devorah left Lee to pursue a last chance at fulfilling a dream. We get to see how vulnerable Devorah is to a predator assuring her of fame, which shows Devorah to be more passionate and maybe a bit selfish about her career than Lee is, who is satisfied with where she’s at. But it also shows how much Lee loves Devorah in that she’s willing to let her go to explore and have her dreams.  There are also flashbacks later on in the book in that goes more into depth, which I appreciated.

The pacing of this story is just right. There was just enough tension and slow reveals that kept me turning the pages. The authors also went into territory that would normally bother me, but which didn’t. 

Spoiler:

While Lee is so sure that Devorah is still alive and desperate to save her, to the point of disregarding all common sense, she has an affair with an old classmate from Julliard who shows up at Annajean’s memorial concert for Devaroh. What Lee has felt for Devorah, that intense love that she’s her soul mate and her life, is what Lily confesses she’s felt for Lee all these years.

What I loved about this part of the story was how human it was written. For most people, even the hint of infidelity is a put off to read. However, in this instance, and between Lily and Lee, it was something that happened and was a beautiful experience for both of them. It wasn’t thrown in there for tension or angst or to add some sexual content. Nor was it excused by the characters as something that happened out of emotional pain Lee was feeling. It’s really about two people who connect just because they have a connection despite external circumstances. It’s an experience that has Lee questioning how things might pan out if they find Devaroh alive, and also if Lily will respond to Han, her former partner, trying to win her back. It also causes Lee to contemplate issues that both she and Devaroh have ignored over the years and sort of gives her a fresh new and realistic outlook on her relationship with her if it will continue.  

Some of the lighter moments and times when this felt more contemporary came through the secondary characters. Lily’s brother Tom is the type up for anything, and Lee’s friends who try to support Lee in her quest to save Devorah, are more down to earth, keeping Lee from going off the deep end. They added quite a lot to the story.

This is just a good book all around. I liked everything about it. Would definitely read more by these authors.

Heat Level: 2-  several sensually- not graphically- written sex scenes.

Grade: Loved it!