The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks
by Jen Sincero
"You can't swing a dead cat at a bridal shower without hitting a straight chick who's slept with another woman, who's thought about it, or who's ready to make the move as soon as someone breaks out the booze."
Such are the incisive pearls of wisdom to be heard from straight chick and girl-on-girl dabbler Jen Sincero, author of The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks. A deliciously sexy how-to guide, it gives curious straight women the complete inside scoop on girl-on-girl action--from pickup lines and virgin jitters to threesomes, techniques, and toys. Drawing on personal experience and hundreds of interviews with straight girls who've slept with lesbians, staight girls who've slept with straight girls, lesbians who've slept with straight girls and straight girls who've done both or neither, Sincero covers the A to Z of the experience including:
- Obtaining a visitor's pass to the girls-only club
- The super-huge importance of sticking your hand down your pants
- The straight girl's starter kit--from nail clippers to cocktails to get her in the mood
- "Gettin' Some 101"--positions, techniques, and instructional photos
- "And Boy Makes Three!"--how to have a threesome that's fun for all
- Suggestions for further viewing and reading and much, much more
Packed with expertly toned advice that is at once laugh-out-loud hilarious and fundamentally practical, The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks is ideal for any woman looking to spice things up with a boyfriend, break the ice with a best friend, or simply add a few just-in-case items to her sexual menu.
Okay, can I just say this book was totally blammo? Jen Sincero is like one of those bizarre and catastrophic laboratory accidents a'la The Fly--only, far from being catastrophic or grotesque, what emerges from the teleportation pod is a delightful surprise, a mutant literary hybridization of Dr. Ruth and Bill Maher. Equal parts sex ed guide, comic genius, and sociopolitical manifesto, The Straight Girl's Guide was one fun read.
Ms. Sincero's voice is unabashedly honest, by turns blunt, witty, bawdy, sarcastic, self-effacing and pragmatic. Her words are effortless to read, and seem as if they must have been effortless to write. She comes off as the kind of outgoing and engaging person whose conversation could keep you stuck to your barstool all night long, not noticing the time until last call. And once you'd pounded that last drink, hell, you might even jump her bones, too.
Her advice is practical and refreshingly shameless--boy howdy! does she get into the nitty gritty of the entire subject, sparing no detail or vulgarity, stripping away any trace of embarrassment or pervy oiliness with the aplomb of a public health nurse. From the importance of becoming an expert masturbator--how can you expect to please a woman if you don't know your own bits eight ways from Sunday?--to broaching the subject with the object of your affection, to practical info on techniques and safety precautions, to making your first foray into the scary land of the Pussy-eaters, Ms. Sincero shares her own experiences and those of hundreds of other women. She does so in a way that is so light-hearted and warm and funny that you find yourself almost quoting passages to the nice elderly lady sitting next to you on the airplane, but then you realize what the heck you were about to do and end up pretending you needed something from your carry-on. Ahem.
From the Straight Girl's Starter Kit:
"Think about it. The pussy is a very sensitive lady. Going at her with long fingernails is about as sexy as going at her with a rake. Showing up untrimmed will not only broadcast your inexperience but may also genuinely terrify potential dates. There are people who will inisist that this is b.s., and I know there are women who can type with full-on swords growing out of their fingertips. But it's a skill that goes against all the physical laws of nature. I don't trust it. In fact, if anyone came at me with claws like that, I think I'd make her take a typing test before I let her anywhere near my unmentionables."
The illustrations are damn awesome, too--hand-drawn by someone with more knowledge of the details of female anatomy than artistic skill. Instructional photos involve modified-to-be-anatomically-correct Barbie-style dolls demonstrating activities the manufacturer clearly never intended. The effect is at once ludicrous and oddly arousing...
And let me be clear--this book is not about converting to lesbianism (although it would be a useful instruction manual in that respect, I suppose). It's about women giving themselves permission to own their sexuality, to take chances, to try new things and be open to new experiences--even if once you've tried it, you decide it's not your bag and you head on back to Boyville. And the whole shebang is handled in such a mirthful, easy, non-judgmental, belly-laugh kind of way that it makes a daunting idea seem less daunting, more doable and infinitely worthwhile.
So heck, even if you're not on a mission to score with the ladies, I can't help but recommend Jen Sincero's Straight Girl's Guide to anyone out there who owns a vagina. It's a warm, witty, sexy, educational, empowering book, and it gets an A from me.