You know, the other day I was thinking that my poor old, tired, sucky, smelly, faded, dirty, stretched vagina needs a pick me up. I mean, it's all the rage now, isn't it? Completely changing your vagina to fit some advertiser's or someone else's ideal of it. And my own now, of course, cause they are right. Right?
And having been told over and over by advertisers who want to cash in on my feminine insecurities and the nasty age old fish jokes, I do realize that my vagina is some freak of nature that needs major fixing. And if I don't do it, then gosh, how will I ever get a man and keep him interested in my vagina? And how can I ever look at myself in the mirror? I'm the owner of something just above a garbage dump in ick factors. Oh the horrors!
Won't someone please help the poor vaginas? This is a link to an article called
The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their VaginasWell, some women and men have stepped up to the plate and given poor vaginas a break. And for all you vagina owners, it's a lot cheaper than all those chemicals and costly operations. What is it? Why it's the erotic romance book.
Yes, in romance, vaginas don't smell like fish or of something half dead dragged out of the garbage, nope, they smell like misty seas and citrus and floral gardens. Not only that, they stretch enough to fit the super sized largest cock out there while being tight as a drum and sucking up the tiniest of fingers. They are wondrous caverns flowing with sweetest tasting nectar that lovers cannot lick and get enough of. Nor is it possible for lovers to stay away; they come from far and wide and do crazy things to willingly and at every moment suckle and partake of the wonders of the beautiful, warm vagina.
Vagina owners, skip all that crap and major cost of what advertisers are telling you and listen to the call of the erotic romance and nature. For mere dollars you can read what you really want to hear and know that your vagina is not some icky orifice, but a wondrous ocean of magic that is adored for it's natural ability to give and receive the most pleasurable of pleasures.