Monday, October 13, 2008

Bound By Steel - Excerpt and contest.

In honor of the release of my third Samhain book, Bound by Steel, I'm holding a little contest. Up for grabs is a copy of my loverly book there===>

As some of you might be aware, today also marks the occasion of the Canadian federal election. Since there's really nothing less evocative of politics than dirty books, and since I am a sucker for the lol-speak, I'm asking for your best (that is, most bizarrely spelled, syntax-impaired, grammar-challenged) lolcat-style Canadian political campaign slogans. Extra points for every lame Canuck stereotype (beer, hockey, "eh", etc) you manage to include.

To assist those fortunate souls unfamiliar with the panoply of Canadian political pomposity, the candidates and their individual weirdnesses are as follows:

Liberal leader Stephane Dion, talks with the exact same mannerisms and inflection as my great aunt Lorette

NDP leader Jack Layton, has the front teeth of a bunny-rabbit. Also, a mustache. I just don't trust a straight guy with a mustache...

Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppe, evil overlord extraordinaire

Green Party leader Elizabeth May, crazy cat lady

Conservative leader and incumbent PM Stephen Harper, the quintessential Blue Meanie

Now I know, Ms. May just screams potential for lolcat goodness, but please, do not neglect the rest of this motley crew. Gimme some insanity. Do your worst.

And once you're done, to cleanse your palate, read this blammo, girl-on-girl excerpt:

Scowling at the blank leather surface, Kaela hammered her bandaged fists into it, harder and faster. A patch of sweat plastered her shirt to the center of her back, and tendrils of her hair had escaped her braid to stick to her face. Her breasts jiggled enticingly with every blow, her nipples poking against the thin linen of her borrowed shirt.

Lianon dragged her gaze from them, and refocused her attention on the motion of Kaela’s arms. "From the shoulder," she instructed. "Put your whole body into it."

Another few punches, and Kaela sagged against the sparring form, panting. "Enough, Lianon," she gasped with a weary smile. "I’m tired."

"Are you?" Lianon asked. Her belly coiled at the sight of the other woman’s arms wrapped around the form, her breasts pressed against it, imagining them pressed like that against Gil’s chest. "How tired?"

Hearing the change in her voice, Kaela aimed a surprised glance at her, laughing giddily. "Lianon? Lianon, it’s the middle of the afternoon!"

Lianon grinned, remembering a lazy morning spent abed exploring Kaela’s deliciously curvy body, before chores had forced them to rise. "I know what time it is. Come here."

Kaela’s cheeks filled with color, but her eyes were suddenly all heat. She straightened, her smile evaporating as she stepped into Lianon’s waiting arms.

Their lips met, parted. Tongues dueled and danced as an already familiar need leapt between them. Lianon plundered deep into the moist heat of Kaela’s mouth, tilting her head to deepen the kiss. She wrapped her arms tight around the other woman, reveling in the feel of Kaela’s heavy breasts pressing against her own smaller ones.

Stumbling a little, she walked Kaela backward toward the wall and pushed her up against it. Her hands slid down to cup Kaela’s ass, so gorgeously outlined in Gil’s trousers. Dipping low, her fingers brushed against the seam that covered Kaela’s sex. She was rewarded by a sigh of sweet breath into her mouth.

Tearing her lips away from Kaela’s, Lianon kissed a path across her cheek to her ear, then began a slow, torturous descent down the side of her neck. "God, you’re so fucking beautiful," she whispered, echoing words Gil had said to her so often the last six months. This body, these curves, this woman in her arms felt like coming home. Like bread and wine and a kindling hearth after a long day of toil. Reaching down with one hand, she freed two buttons at the waist of Kaela’s trousers and slipped her hand inside.

Swollen flesh slicked with lust greeted her questing fingers. Sucking the skin at Kaela’s shoulder, Lianon found the rigid nub of her clit and flicked her fingertip across it.

"Ah, Lianon…" Kaela gasped, her bandaged hands buried clumsily in Lianon’s hair, guiding her head down to her breasts. Through the linen of Kaela’s shirt, Lianon took a pebbled nipple into her mouth, suckling delicately before moving to its twin. Her fingers slid further into Kaela’s slit, circling her opening. Slowly, carefully, she pushed one finger inside. Paused as the other woman’s inner muscles accustomed themselves to the invasion. Slid a little deeper.

"Lianon?" A thread of worry had woven into the arousal in Kaela’s voice.

Lianon lifted her head, caught Kaela’s gaze and held it. Saw the uncertainty there. She kept her finger where it was, and drew slow circles around Kaela’s clit with her thumb. "Do you trust me?" she whispered.

Forget the candidates, I vote for Lianon!

Purchase Bound by Steel here, or read another steamy excerpt here.

ETA: contest deadline is Friday, Oct 17, winner announced Saturday.


MB (Leah) said...

I don't speak LOLZ. Damn. But I did download my copy today. Whoohoo! Can't wait to get to it. :D

kirsten saell said...

Well, I voted.

No good can come of this, I guarantee it.

Now, in my release day fit of self-flagellation, I'm going to reread the book.

No good can come of this, I guarantee it. :D

judiebabie said...

I would love to read this steamy book!

kirsten saell said...

C'mon then, and gimme some lolcat goodness!

U can haz taX dudukshun!1

Anonymous said...

"Moar tooks, less tacksez"
"Nashonel defesit...ur doin it rong, eh."
"I can haz voats?"
"voat fur mee...i luv kittezzzz!!"

Howz dat? :D

kirsten saell said...

Oh, beauty SE!

Kathy K said...

Oh man...

I'm real good at using the *eh* ending to sentences, but you've got me going with the lolcat.

And yeah, I voted... for all the good that it'll do... sheesh... could we have had a weaker selection of "leaders"? UGH!

kirsten saell said...

Hehe, Kathy, one of the hugest signs that the candidates had no personality was how very difficult it was to find freakishly bad photos of them online. (Well, other than Duceppe in his cheese factory shower cap, and I thought it was just unfair to put that one up against the beigeness of the others.)

You know, what I'm really looking for in a candidate is originality. Like, if I saw a campaign sign that said "Vote for Schmoe, the lesser of 5 evils", he'd be the frontrunner for me right there. And OMG, if I came across one that said "I kizz ur bebbehz, u vot fer me plz??!1" that would totally clinch it for me.

So c'mon and gimme something lolcat!

"Look mah touqck, mark X fer me!!

Kathy K said...

LOL... oh criminy! I've gotta say that I've never done this before... guess that makes me a lolcat virgin, so to


"Eef u tiklez mi tummee, Ile givez you munny."

Or even better...

"Eef u givez mi munny, ile ticklz yur tummee."

And of course we all know that whoever gets in "munny will be theirs, not ours." *sigh*

Kathy 0.0

kirsten saell said...

You know, Kathy, for a LOLZ virgin, that's not bad!

And yeah, the money always seems to defy the laws of physics and flow from the bottom up, doesn't it?

MB (Leah) said...

Yeah Kathy, I'm impressed! I'm so lazy to figure it out.

Kathy K said...

Thank you Kirsten and Leah.... Funny how using LOLZ is more work than just using English... or whatever. ^.~

Trisha said...

Kirsten: Well, here goes. I have a miserable achy bastard flu right now, so this is as good as it's gonna get!

1 - I iz NAWT ur grate ant Lorettie, but I playz her on da TVz.

2 - U makez bunneh prym mizni...minzt...big leeder, an bunneh givez you cabnet pozishun plus lots of Molsin an LULZ!

3 - Basement Cat indorsez Gilz Duseppey. U will obayz Basement Cat.

4 - "Crazee?" I nawt crazee. Iz eco-frenlee kitteh!

5 - Stefin Harper nawt so meen, akshully. Nawt meen like moossez, anywayz. Nahw, DEYZ iz MEEN!

kirsten saell said...


Ahhh, that's good lolcat right there...

Ai wantz moar!!

Trisha said...

Heaven forbid I should be accused of trying to influence the judging, but I can haz berfday on day contezt endz. Jus sayin'.

Lisa Whitefern said...

Does commenting here mean I go in a draw?

kirsten saell said...

Trisha, LOLOL!

And Lisa, you're in the draw only if you give me some politically themed lolz. So do your worst. Literally.

Caffey said...

I don't have a clue what LOLZ or what to do, LOL. But I so love to be in the contest for the book. I was just over at the blog and so can't wait to read!

Even though I don't have a clue of LOLZ its a blast reading these posts, LOL